July 1, 2014

A raging mongrel. A too torquer. Wand of lust. A boner. A hard on. You got the idea. I guess I had a boner this morning. It might not seem that big of a deal, but a morning visitor after five years, to a man, is a big deal. You see, it seems my neurological senses are reorganizing and coming back. My right side is cramping up and flipping out. It's as if the brain is re-organizing. Just something I thought I'd share with you. I'm kind of embarrassed, but it might help someone out there. Just reminds someone like me that things do improve over time. It's been five years, but come on! I'll take what I can get.

Hi everybody. Welcome to another week. Sorry I was delayed last week but my daughter was here and man, she wiped me out. Talk about energy! Anyway, I had a great time. I'm also kind of wiped out right now because it's exceptionally hot and there's high humidity. The combination of heat and humidity seem to really affect me. I was gonna bike today on my recumbent trike, but I fear it would have been too much for me.

I'm thinking of starting an image bank of my photos. I can't really shoot for anybody like I used to but I can organize the images I shoot into a photo bank. It got me thinking, you know, when I started photography, it was always my dream to just produce images I want. Eventually what happens is you end up shooting images for magazines or catalogues or commercial work. It's rare you get to do your own thing. I'm finally at the stage where I get to shoot whatever I want. Who would think it would take two brain surgeries to get to this place.

Going back to the biking, I found that I can get my own bike through a grant. That's pretty cool. I would get a grown up trike. I talked a little about it before, but it's pretty cool. Most trikes are operated by the hands, but I can get one that works by the feet. You see, I still have use of my legs. Anyway, that's about all to report for this week. They have the World Cup on so I'm going to go back to watching that. Have a good week and check out my other blog.

Love, B. Nice

P.S. I'll include some photos from my road trip.

June 27, 2014

Hi everyone. Let's dedicate this blog to my friend who's going through some pretty heavy stuff. She has a good sense of humor, so with her sarcasm I'm sure she'll do good. And let's call this blog "Three of Five." My daughter's here and I got three of five wishes correct. You see, when I was in hospital going through my heavy stuff I wished I was at the beach with my daughter in Montauk walking with her. Let's see, being in Montauk, walking with my daughter, oh yeah, and my dog. That's four, the fifth wish I can't remember. Well, maybe I'll wish I could remember it. Anyway, I got to be with my daughter at Montauk at the beach. Although they had to get me on the beach in the wheelchair, and my dog is dead. So, I'll take what I can get. It was a great weekend. I'll tell you though, when you have traumatic brain injury and you're met with a seven year old, it's like putting a nuclear reactor on a tug boat. But it was great to have her here. She leaves day after tomorrow. I survived the Lion King, a high school graduation, a fashion show, dinner at a very crowded Mexican restaurant with a table of secretaries next to us. And to finish it all - tomorrow we go fishing. I don't think we could squeeze anything more in.

I would like to say I found out that with traumatic brain injury and being in the sun, I got really wiped out. It seems when you have traumatic brain injury anything that attacks the senses, like the sun, it really affects you. Just being in the sun for 15 minutes really got to me. Just an observation. So if you have traumatic brain injury like me, be careful. Oh yeah, and if you have a seven year old that has enough energy to run the planet, be careful.

I'll tell you, that wheelchair that gets you on the beach, that's something else. That was great. You know, it's been a while since I've been on the beach in Montauk. Remember, after my first operation I went out to Montauk and my crazy surfer friends put me on a board and took me out to the line up with no life jacket on. I should have changed my name to Bob. It was crazy. I avoided them on this trip. Just a side note there. I went off on a bit of a tangent. That wheelchair that goes on the beach is amazing. I highly recommend it. You just have to make arrangements with the lifeguard when you go to the beach. They will help you out. It's pretty cool. It was a great day. I got to see my daughter play in sand. And my nephews were there with my niece. My daughter got to play with them in the waves. It was a quick turn around, but a lot of fun.

Back in the day, you know, before my brain bleed, I was an avid windsurfer. When you wipe out at the speeds we used to go at, man, it really hurt. Imagine this, imagine you're on a speedboat fast enough to pull a water skier. Now imagine someone puts you on a windsurfer. Straps you in, and then throws you overboard. Man, it hurts. I'll tell you. Anyway, I went past the house I built and that hurt about as much. You know, I'm more alert now, and more awake and when I saw my house I got pissed off. I really made that place. Most people don't realize how much work I put into that place. It's not like I gave a builder some money and said, "Build me a house." I got all the permits. I designed it. I oversaw the construction with a construction manager I hired. I was there pretty much every day they were building the house. I was pretty involved. So, to see it in someone else's hands really pisses me off. But, we won't go there. I'll practice what I preach and just let it go. Or, like my friend says, suck it up. I really missed it though, this past week when I was out in Montauk.

You know, I'm pretty wiped out so I'm gonna end it there. I'll include some photos from my trip across America. I'm here with my friend planning my next trip. I'm gonna go in the corner and collapse now. Have a good weekend. Love, B. Nice

I forgot, here's a link to my blog about the past.

June 17, 2014

I think every traumatic brain injury recovery patient should be assigned a 7 year old. Oh man! I'm wiped out! My daughter came to visit me over Father's Day weekend. She's going to be here for two weeks and I'm already wiped out. But it's great to hang out with her. Man, she grew up a lot since I saw her last. I saw her last about 3 months ago and it's great to see her.

The other thing that I've been doing since I spoke to you last is that I increased my vimpaz. It's basically a drug that stops seizures. I was having a lot of what I call "moments." They are like mini seizures. Anyway, the new increase keeps these "moments" at bey. The increase wasn't much. I'm still close to the lowest dosage so I've got lots of wiggle room if they want to increase my dosage or decrease it.

You know, since my daughter is here, I'm gonna keep this short cause I've got to get off the ceiling right now. Just kidding. No, I want to spend as much time with her as I can. I only see her for a short period.

I'll include some photos and my link to the past. Hope you have a good week. I'm gonna go do some finger painting now. Talk to you later. Love, B. Nice

June 10, 2014

So welcome to the blog about the present. And at the present, I'm still getting over my visit to one of my neurologists. I was told to bring in my current MRI. My neurologist loaded up the MRI and Voila! I found out I have a brain. And I also have some pretty major damage. Therefore I have brain damage, or traumatic brain injury. I'm pretty lucky though, as she pointed out, if my bleed was just a little different, I would have no heart control, no breathing, none of all that stuff that keeps you alive. So I'm pretty lucky even though I'm messed up. I asked her if the brain can repair itself and she kind of looked like a deer in the headlights. She said, "Just keep working hard." And I will. You know, they make their best educated guess (doctors). I feel it's really up to you to keep working hard and stay positive. I told the doctor I was thankful there are no squirrels in my head and she just looked at me blankly.

A cool thing that happened this week was I got to try bike riding. It's a giant mountain bike that looks like a tricycle. It came with a giant rattle and a milk bottle, and a white hat with a bow tie. Just kidding about the last three things, but the bike was pretty cool. It did take a therapist to go along with me, but I did manage to go around a three-mile lake. It felt great. It felt like I had a little freedom. Although the therapist kept screaming at me, "Stay to the right! Stay to the right!" I kept yelling at her, "Why are you screaming Stay to the right?" and she said, "Stop. I keep telling you to go to the right because if you keep going to the left like you do, you're going to end up in the lake and that's not a good thing." So I guess it was good incentive to stay to the right. Anyway, it was overall a great experience. I'm thinking of getting a mountain trike for myself. The hospital said I could get a grant to pay for the trike. Very cool.

Oh yeah, I found out this week there's one thing worse than having diarrhea when you're like this, and that's having a freaking mosquito by your bed when you're like this. I punched my face. I slapped my neck. I punched myself in the balls. I almost took out a few pictures. My legs fell out of bed. It was a mess. All because of one mosquito. Anyway, now that I think about it, I should buy a fly swatter.

My eyes are getting better. There is less shaking and my eyes seem to be registering more and more. Like I don't see cross-eyed as much as I used to. It's a relief. It feels like it's getting better. My friend here said, "There's proof right there. You're getting better." It's true I am getting better. I just wanted more positive feedback from the doctor. We can't always get what we want, right?

I'm gonna include some pictures from my road trip. I drove across America with my friends. I wanted to show people you can still do what you love even though you're messed up. Talk to you next week. Love, B. Nice

P.S. Hey, check out this bag my friend made. It's pictures from my trip!

P.P.S. We're taking orders now if you like.

Here's a link to my other blog.

June 3, 2014

Hi everybody. Let's call this blog "Plan B" and I'm gonna dedicate it once again to my parents. I'm gonna call it Plan B because I figured out finally that as you go through life, you need a back up plan, a Plan B. And it can either be a friend, family, relation, religion, whatever you want, just as long as you have back up. Luckily, you know, when I was in a bad way, I needed back up and luckily my parents were there to offer me shelter, food and love. You know, the basic stuff.

Anyway, I just wanted to share the above with you. It's good to have back up. I guess subconsciously you keep it in your mind. As far as other stuff, I've been feeling good lately. Things are a lot sharper and a little clearer. My eyesight is better. Overall, I feel like I am clearer and I realize I'm messed up. Man, I've got a lot of work to do. I've mentioned this before, but it goes on and on. It's like the never-ending wakeup. Today I went out on a road trip with my mother and my health assistant. Boy, I tell you, anytime you leave your daily routine you get real tired. I went to Barnes & Noble bookstore and it was like getting hit by a 2X4. Talk about over stimulation. And on top of it, I had a coffee and thought I was going to explode. I came home really tired, but I guess it's good to get out of the house.

You know, I was sitting on the porch, just sitting there looking at stuff and I realized my life has done a complete 180. I used to travel all over the world and now I just sit here. But, you know, if you take the time, you start to notice stuff. Like I said before, you just gotta take time to look.

You know, right now there's a big storm going on and a front came through bringing a change in the weather. It's remarkable when you're like the way I am, you can feel the change in pressure. For example a low pressure system came in and I felt the difference. I guess that's why I'm not supposed to go to altitude. I guess some people, you know, feel it in their knees or joints. I just felt it all over. It was weird.

I've also been working on a new website, you know, for my landscape work. It's been keeping me busy, but I'll tell you, it's tough to do what I used to do. Put images together and create a professional website. It's tough. I can only work in like five minute intervals. Then I need to rest. I guess anytime you get too much stimulation you get overtired. I guess no late night ballroom dancing for me.

I just want to mention one other thing. I'm really thankful for my family and friends who have brought over food for me. It's really basic, but it makes a big big difference, although, my mom hides the chocolate chip cookies from me and that pisses me off.

Anyway, I'm gonna finish up and include some cartoons I used to do. My friend here will grab a book and we'll take some shots of some cartoons. I used to love to draw. I will include the other link too. Love you guys, talk to you soon. Love, B. Nice