July 15, 2014

Welcome to the past. I'll tell some random stories. You know, they were things I thought about cause you know I was in the hospital for like a year altogether. All in all, I've been through some rough stuff, but I'll tell you a few random stories. I was on a photoshoot in Mexico. One of the models I was working with is a friend of mine. We were at the bar and she said, "Hey! I'll upgrade us to first class. We can watch a movie and have some champagne." Well, we got on the plane and I found we were not only in first class, we had bulkhead seats. It was gonna be a great trip. Well, right after the plane took off my friend looked at me with her beautiful eyes and said, "I don't feel so good." She looked really sweaty and she had a kind of greenish beige tone about her. She started fumbling for an air sick bag, but the airline in their infinite wisdom decided not to issue air sick bags to save money. I ran to the flight attendant cabin and I said, "You better give me a garbage bag and quick." So I grabbed a garbage bag and some paper towels. I gave the bag to my friend and said, "Here, this is just in case you get sick." Well she grabbed the bag and proceeded to power puke into the bag. I looked at my neighbors who were mortified. I said, "Hi, how's it going?" They just stared at me blankly. The whole cabin smelled like puke. Anyway, she threw up all the way from Mexico to New York City. When we taxied to the gate, there was a woman in the back who ran to the front of the plane with a bag of puke as well. My friend ran to the front of the plane as well, and the navigator came out of the flight deck. He took one look at the two women and went back inside the flight cabin. The women were chosen to get off the plane first. I said to the flight attendant, as we were leaving, "Have a good day." Going through customs was a whole other story. Let's put it this way, they asked her if she had anything to declare. I'll leave it up to your imagination.

The next story takes place in New York City in a studio, I was shooting a job that a producer got for me. A South Korean client. It was a good gig. Anyway, I hired my girlfriend to be the female in the photoshoot. Oh yeah, it was a commercial job. Anyway, the art director didn't speak English. He would act out what he wanted, and then he'd started to take off his shirt and then he pointed at my girlfriend. He wanted her to be topless. I felt rather uncomfortable. I explained to her that she had to be topless for the shot. She said, "You've got to  be fucking kidding." And then, I heard my assistant getting into a fight with the producer. My assistant started yelling, "I've had enough of you." The whole shoot started to turn into a nightmare, but we worked it all out. It turned out to be a good shoot.

The last story I'll tell you was in Phoenix, in the desert. My assistant who was french vietnamese, he said he was going to take a walk in the desert. I looked down at his feet and we was wearing flip flops. I said, "You can't walk around the desert in those." He said in a french accent, "I'll do whatever I want." Well, he was gone for about half an hour and I heard a scream in the distance. Apparently he walked right into a cactus. Some people don't listen to me. I hope you have a good week. Here's the link to my other blog. I'll include a cartoon. You know, drawings I used to do when I could draw. Have a good week. Love, B. Nice