Chapter 39 - February 21, 2012

Hi everybody!  I have to remind you of something.  You probably already know it, but be careful what you wish for.  I remember a couple of years ago, I was looking at my portfolio.  I liked my images, but I wished my photography had more depth to it.  I know plenty of guys, other photographers that can shoot what I shoot.  It all kind of looks the same after a while.  I was looking for unique style.  Well, I have it now.  What a price to pay though.  I've been taking pictures of how I see the world.  It's definitely unique.  My point of view.  I think I'd rather be a boring photographer than be like this right now.

When you go through something as powerful as this, it definitely affects your creative side.  I think my photographs, right now, are really honest, and personal.  I'll share them with you soon.  It does make me happy when I can take pictures.  So, remember, be careful what you wish for.  You never know how it will come about.

I had my new water therapy today.  Remember, they kind of cut me off from my other therapy.  They said I had plateau'd, but I know I'm getting better.  This new water therapy I go to really helps.  I was walking for about an hour in deep water and shallow water.  Man, what a work out.  It really kicked my ass.  My friend here asked me if I get sore, but it's more of an overall tired feeling.  I have the strength, but the signal from the brain to the body is kind of messed up.  It's re-establishing, but it's messed up right now.  You see, anything I do makes me tired.  Talking, looking, feeding myself.  Anything.  So, it's a good excuse to be really lazy.  When people see me, people I haven't seen in a long time, when people say, "Wow! What happened to you?"  I always say, "Nothing, I just got really incredibly lazy.  I like people to feed me.  I bring my own chair everywhere.  I like people to bathe me.  I like people to move me from point A to point B.  I'm just lazy."  If only life were so simple.  I wish I was just lazy.  If anything, I'm working harder than I ever have.  I used to play hard.  Now I'm working hard.

Once again, I'm having another tough day.  Like I said before, some days are good.  Others are bad.  Today I'm incredibly tight on my face and neck.  It's difficult to talk.  Gets kind of frustrating.  But, there's always tomorrow.

Oh, yeah!  I went to a motor home exhibition yesterday.  The people there were really interesting.  I wish I had a set up and I could do portraits.  Talk about characters.  It was fun and could be another reason why I'm tired today.  I went to the show to do some research on my trip coming up.  I got some good ideas from it.  It was worth it.  I went with my mom and my friends as well as my sister and her kids.  It was fun.  It's good to have little adventures like this.  It gets you out of the house and away from the monotony of therapy.

Speaking of therapy, I brought home my Up & Go machine.  It helps me walk.  It teaches me how to walk.  It's great.  Lot of hard work, but it's good.  My parents bought it for me as medicaid didn't cover it.  Here we go again with the thoughts I have about therapy insurance.  That sort of thing doesn't make sense to me.  I mean, I'm getting better.  I really think that some people would say, the hell with it.  Just throw in the towel.  Collect their checks for disability and watch TV all day.  Makes sense to me to get better with the right tools.  Get better.  Contribute to society.  Work.  Pay taxes.  You know, all that stuff.  Contribute to society.  Not be a burden.  All right.  I'll get off my soap box now.  Just like everything, there are some good things and some bad things with our system.  I think it's time for a tune up.  Anyway, that's just my point of view.

Another thing I'd like to talk about is friendship.  I have a friend visiting me for about a week.  It's really important to surround yourself with friends.  Especially if you're living at home.  That's a whole other topic.  Anyway, it's important to have friends.  All my friends help me a lot.  It makes all the difference in the world.  I couldn't have done this alone.  NO way.  I have good friends in the ICU, around my surgeries, now.  It's important.  They keep you going.  The other important thing is, think about someone you really really love.  Like I really love my little one.  I don't get to see her as much as I'd like to.  But remember when you're on a commercial flight, the oxygen mask may come down and you have to take care of yourself so you can look after your little one.  I guess my life is like that right now.  I gotta get better so I can look after my little one.  Sorry about that, I went off on a tangent there.  I just miss some people sometimes.

That's all for now.  Let's end on a positive note.  It's been a great winter here in the northeast.  You don't know how appreciative I am for not having snow.  It sucks to fall on your ass when you're like this.  The paths are clear.  That will be my profound thought of the week.  The paths are clear.

See you next time.  Love, B. Nice