Chapter 17 – July 31, 2011

Something has been kicking my butt. I haven’t been feeling that great lately. It could
be the heat. Who knows? Anyway, never look back. Keep going forward. Even in
surfing we do that. A big wave might look huge look back. When you look forward,
you maintain balance and the wave doesn’t seem as big. I guess this is kind of like that.
A big wave. Life is funny. The other morning my aid was drinking coffee and thinking
about her up and coming wedding. I was sitting across from her thinking about my
imminent divorce. Ha. One door opens, another shuts. You never know what’s going to

I think I mentioned before, I used to run the mile. That’s four laps around a track. The
worst part of the mile race is lap three on the back stretch. You feel like hell. That’s how
I feel right now. I feel like I’m on lap three on the back stretch. It really helps having
people cheer you on. The therapy helps a lot as well. They will point out the positive
aspects of your progress. It’s really encouraging and helpful.

I finally got my glasses as well. Man, are they thick. They are prism glasses. They are
meant to help slow down the shaking of my eyes. It does help, but they are so thick that
they make me nauseous, and dizzy. I only wear them for a while during the day.

Other parts of therapy have been going well. I have been walking and doing more work
with my hands. I have to remember to be patient.

This weekend I went to my aid’s wedding. It was a beautiful day and I wished them all
the luck I can. It took a lot out of me to go there. I can handle noise and people a little
better, but it’s still tough. It was a good test, and it was great to get out of my routine. A
great day.

Other weird things have been happening. I seem to aspirate liquid more than before.
This causes me to cough a lot. I have been using thickener in my drinks, but it seems
to really stop me up. The doctor had to prescribe a laxative. Never a dull moment. I
cough frequently but it seems to be an upper respiratory area. Upper wind pipe. If it
was to move to the bottom of my lungs I might get pneumonia. This is what the nurse
said when she came to visit me. My friend came to write and had to endure one of my
coughing fits. Not a good sight. It would also really scare my daughter when I would
have a coughing attack. She would say, “Daddy, are you OK?” It would last about five
minutes. She was always so concerned. I tell you, I’m getting really sick of this. I’m
tired of coughing fits. I’m tired of my aids washing my balls, haaaa. Do I have your
attention? I’m tired of the shower chair. There’s a whole list of things I’m tired of. And
I’m sure my family, friends and aids are tired of it as well. It seems like it will never end.
OK, I’ll get off my soap box, stow it and stop bitching.

On a positive note, everyone says I’m getting better. It feels good. Even my eyes seem
to be getting better. Always look ahead. Never look back. See ya next week.