Hi everybody. Welcome to my blog where I talk about my past.
You know, I often talk about the past to reflect and also to forget about the present. I’ll give you an example - oh, before I start, I want to say this blog is dedicated to my beautiful daughter.
Now, go back to my example: you see, my daughter is going to graduate from high school. I’m very proud of her. But the problem is, I can’t attend the graduation. Under medical advice, I really can’t travel halfway across the country. Now, after my first operation, I was able to make it all the way across the country and back. I could walk with a walker, feed myself. Use the bathroom. I could pretty much get by without help. But now, I’m in a bad way. The second operation really kicked my butt. You name it, I’ve got it wrong with me. I won’t go into details, but it’s pretty bad. And on top of it, I’m prone to getting seizures. Now, my seizures aren’t the run of the mill average seizures. My seizures are special. You see, my first seizure triggers another seizure, which triggers another seizure - and that goes on until I die. Being under stress seems to trigger a seizure. That, and too much stimulation. This is why I’ve been advised to stay home, and that bums me out.
So let’s think about the past. I’m gonna call this blog “Cougars”. One of my first run ins with a cougar was in Paris. I was due to do a photoshoot in India. I went over to the art director’s house to talk about the shoot. We talked about the shoot and I was getting weird vibes from the woman. Now, at the end of our conversation, she rubbed my leg and looked into my eyes and said, “I think we’re gonna get along just fine on this shoot.” I quickly called my agent and cancelled the booking. My friend here reminds me that it would have been an exotic shoot.
Another time I was on a photoshoot, I think I told you this story. I was taking a break from our location scouting and had a drink at the bar. There was no one in there but me. Then two cougars came in and sat down right next to me. One on either side. I looked at the bar tender and I just mouthed to him - HELP. He said, “You’re on your own buddy.” You don’t want to know what happened. Let’s just say these were Florida cougars. They were on a convention.
I’ll tell you one more cougar story. I’ve got a few more. But I’ll just tell you one more. This took place on April Fools Day. I was at a bar with a friend of mine. My girlfriend and her friend went to the bathroom. Well, after a few minutes, some young woman walked into the bar. They were hanging out and then they came immediately over to our table. We started talking and after a while, even though I was naive, they weren’t cougars. They were average every day prostitutes. Well, my girlfriend came back and the two prostitutes quickly ran away. The moral of the story is, don’t assume they’re cougars. Assume they’re prostitutes.
That’s it for now. I’m going to go back to being bummed out. Love and miss you guys.
Love, B. Nice