November 24, 2015


Hi you guys. Welcome to the blog where I talk about my past.

OK, I've got to tell my one Thanksgiving day story. I told you before, but I've got to tell you again. If you've already heard it, and your rolling your eyes and tapping your foot, then skip it.

I was living in Australia. I had a huge dinner party with some friends. We had a few bottles of some wine and we were having a good time. Then we started talking about Thanksgiving and what it meant. My friends were Australian and had never heard of it, so I promised them a big Thanksgiving day party. I forgot about it, and then next morning, my wife at the time reminded me of the promise I had made. Now, let me tell you, try finding a turkey a few days before Thanksgiving in Australia. Not easy. I must have tried every butcher shop in Sydney. No turkeys to be found. So I called up the US Consulate, and asked them how they got their turkeys. The guy that talked to me was cool. He said they pre-ordered them through a butcher he knew. The guy at the US Embassy said they over ordered so I could pick one up. I raced down to the butcher and explained the situation. They said I could buy the turkey the US Embassy didn't need. Well, after I paid about $200 for the turkey I heard a big cart coming out of the icebox. I looked over and I saw the biggest bird I've ever seen on a cart. I said, "That's not a turkey! That's got to be an Emu or something. That's a huge bird." The butcher promised me it was a turkey. Well, after finally getting it into my car, I got it up to my apartment. It was so heavy. I finally got it into the kitchen. Looked at the bird, looked at my stove, looked at the bird, looked at my stove again and I thought, "No way! I'm not gonna get that bird in there!" I finally took out all the racks and all the siding, put a brick down and a rack, put the bird in on a big tray and tried to shut the door. It wouldn't shut. So I used a bungee cord to hold the door halfway open and then covered the entire opening with tin foil. I started cooking the bird. Well, my friends finally came over at around 6 pm. Mind you, I started cooking at like 2 pm. We had a few bottles of wine (I'm being conservative when I say a few). The bird finally got done at 4 am in the morning. We were ripped. I mean, even the chair would have tasted good at this stage. We ate the whole thing. It was good. Like my friend here says, "Low and slow." After cleaning up at about 6 am, I passed out and was awoken by a noise by the trash. There were a bunch of tree kangaroos fighting over my turkey carcas. It sounded like a full on riot. The tree kangaroos ran off into the woods with my turkey. That's my Thanksgiving Story. My friend here says I also introduced the tree kangaroos to Thanksgiving. So have a good Thanksgiving.

Love, B. Nice

P.S. Here my blog where I blog about the present.