Chapter 46 - April 23, 2012

You kill like an American.  That's what our driver said to me as we were playing a video game.  I was on a shoot for Elle Quebec in Tunisia many years ago.  He said, "Are you sure you're not American?"  I said, "No mate.  I live in Australia.  North Bondi.  On Ram's Gate Avenue.  That's next to Speedo's Cafe."  I would tell people I was Australian, not American.  Americans weren't very popular in Tunisia.  It's sad to tell people that you're not from America but it would avoid a lot of conflict.  It was a good shoot, and the country is beautiful - O.K. I'm going to go off on a little tangent right now.  I just remembered something.  I was in my room in Tunisia and one of the models called me.  She wanted to buy a carpet and wanted me to go along.  I said sure, let's go.  So we went to the Bazaar to buy a carpet.  While we were there, while she was looking at the carpets, I noticed the owner was really staring at her.  He said, "You're wife is beautiful."  My first mistake was I said that's not my wife.  He said, "Oh, I'm sorry sir.  You're girlfriend is beautiful."  My second mistake was I said that's not my girlfriend.  And then he said, "Who is that then?"  I said, that's my friend.  And he said, I want to buy her.  And I was intrigued.  I said really?  What would I get for her.  He offered me some camels, some goats and some sheep.  I don't remember the amount.  I said to my friend, Hey, I can get some camels and some goats in exchange for you.  Do you mind?  She was pissed off.  I was laughing, but she was really angry.  I decided we better go so I said to him, Sir, we respectfully decline your offer because I don't think I could get the livestock through customs.  And we hurried out the door.

Now I'm going to tell you another story.  As if you have to guess, I like telling stories.  Anyway, we're going to go back to where I lived, Australia.  I was windsurfing just south of Sydney.  I was practicing my water starts in the waves.  I was spending a lot of time in the water.  My friends were up on a sand dune overlooking the surf and watching me.  All of a sudden, they start screaming, "Get out of the Water B. Get out of the water.  Look!"  and I looked past the breaking waves and I saw a big V like a big wake coming towards me.  It was moving real fast.  It went through the first set of waves and was coming right towards me.  I ditched my board and my sail and I started running through the water as fast as I could.  I looked over my shoulder and the V wake was coming right towards me.  I screamed and fell on the sand.  I looked up again and it was coming right towards me.  As it approached me, I held up my arms and screamed and just then, a bunch of fairy penguins came out of the water and landed right next to me.  My friends were laughing their asses off.  They were laughing so hard they fell down.  They were laughing as the penguins were shaking their wings and their heads, shaking all the water off of them.  They walked away talking.  I proceeded to check my shorts.

We were always playing tricks on each other.  It was a fun place to go when you weren't working.  Good windsurfing.  Anyway.  That's my story.  I would think about moments like this when I was really in a bad way.  It would help me get through the tough stuff.

What made me really happy the other day was I got an email saying this blog was helping a fellow brain surgery survivor.  It's good to know this blog is actually helping someone.  It made me very happy.  If this can help anyone, it would be great.  Remember, there's no magic pill or therapy that would help, but just the smallest thing will make a difference.  I used to ask my therapist if they brought their magic wand and I'd say, "Did you bring your magic wand, you know the one you wave over me to make me better, Ha."  If only things were that simple.

I said this before, but I'll say it again.  I really believe that everything I experienced before this event, helped me get through this event.  I had a remarkable life.  You know, I survived dive accidents, plane accidents, I was held up by machine guns in New Caledonia, I was in earthquakes.  I was chased by warriors who wanted to kill me.  I was married twice, and divorced twice.  (The divorce lawyers were worse than the warriors - ha ha ha.)  The point is, I've gone through a lot in my life, so when it was time to possibly move on, I wasn't so scared.  But, you know I would always think about the positive things I've gone through, like seeing the birth of my daughter, building my dream house, running across America.  Things like that.  When you're lying on your back for a couple of years, you gotta stay positive.

This week has been full of ups and downs.  Like the past two days, they've been really rough.  But I do have moments of clarity.  I think the body is just waking up.  Any change is welcome because, as long as you're changing, I think you're moving forward.  Any change is a good.  Gotta stay positive.  Anyway, I'll talk to you guys next week.  Love, B. Nice