Chapter 25 – October 24, 2011

I’d like to tell you about a very strange dream I had. You see, when one door closes,
sometimes another opens. My dream was this: I was standing in a room and a door
opened. It opened to a nice starry sky, with the ocean. I cast a rope line towards the
water and a white hand came up and pulled out a person and that person was there to help
me. And then I woke up. How weird is that? And no it wasn’t Michael Jackson, but
there was a white hand. Anyway, I just thought I’d share that with you.

Here’s my profound thought of the week: When you are on a commercial airplane, they
advise you to put on your oxygen mask before you put on your child’s. This is so you
can stablize yourself so you may assist your child. That’s kind of how I feel. I feel like
I have to get myself better so I can help my child. This is why I work so hard. Maybe
too much. I seem to be tired all the time. But, there’s no other option. Sure I could sit
around and watch TV all day, but therapy is much more important.

I was talking to my friend who’s writing this for me. We were talking about rest. I do
work so hard almost every day. They do advise me at the hospital to take one day off
every week. Rest. Sleep. Whatever. Spend time alone. I usually take Sunday or the
weekend to chill out. Rest is as important as working out. Your body will heal with rest.
It’s just my perspective. I feel better when I rest. I always take a nap in the afternoon
about an hour and I go to bed around 9:30. Wake up at 7:00. Lately, I’ve been waking
up in the middle of the night. Staring at the ceiling. Sometimes it’s hard to get back to
sleep. Remember what I said before. Never think too much.

My niece and nephews live right next door with my sister. I often see them play soccer.
I really wish I could join them and play. When I see them kicking the ball, I often
imagine kicking the ball. That’s got to be good for me. Either way, I wish I could play.
I feel like an old man, and I’m only 50. What a drag.

On a happier note, I’ve been skyping with my little one. It’s almost Halloween so I put
on different outfits when I see her. The reaction is fantastic. She stops what she’s doing
and she goes, “Daddy, is that you? You’re so silly.” She’s 25, just kidding. She’s 4
and ½. Almost 5. Once again, I’ll miss Halloween with her, but it’s great to see her on

Just one last thing. My aunt and uncle came by. They’re from Minnesota. They came
to stay for a few days. It reminded me how important family is. With their support, my
sister’s and my mother and father, I have been getting better. Family is so important.

This is kind of corny, but I’d like to share something with you. When I was in intensive
care I had them play reggae over and over and over again. It’s got the same beat as the
human heart. But I remember one lyric that stood out all the time. It was from a song
that Bob Marley did. It goes, “In life there’s lots of grief, but your love is my relief.”
Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to hold your hand. That’s it. See you next
week. B. Nice