May 6, 2014

Hi everybody. Welcome to another week of recovery. It's only day 3492… I don't know, just kidding. I haven't been keeping track but I know it's a hell of a long time. You know when you have traumatic brain injury, recovery is a long ass time. It take much longer for the nerves to recover. My friend here was reading my previous blog. I was talking about my friend from Paris. He brought me a great present, but you know, I forgot to mention to him I can only feel like 50% of what I touch. Therefore, in light of what he bought, he should have gotten 50% off! This week has been full of ups and downs. I had to go get an MRI done. I do every year. Man, I hate those things. They're very claustrophobic. They basically stick you in a long tube and you have to hold absolutely still for about an hour while they beat you about your feet with a ruler. (Just kidding about the feet.) But it is claustrophobic. It does help though. It sets the bar as to where you are. I haven't heard the results yet. It's been a day or so, but you know what? No news is good news.

The other thing I've been doing is going to the pool. I went to water therapy and all the people that were there noticed an improvement. I definitely have a stronger core. My balance is better. It's nice to be complimented. It helps you move forward. I tried to get my health assistant to put some large bandaids on his nipples, but he wouldn't go for it for some reason. I just wanted to get a reaction from people. It would have been funny.

I keep painting more and more it seems. It really is helpful for my hand. I've been doing photos as well. Seems I've been more and more creative. I guess it's the weather. Who knows. That's it for this week. I'm going to include some photos. You know, some photos from my trip across america. It's how a traumatic brain injury person sees the world. At least my point of view. Have a nice week. Here's the link. LINK

April 29, 2014

I'm gonna dedicate this blog to my friend, the Mayor of Paris. My friend came all the way over from Paris to see me. What a great visit. You know, when you have traumatic brain injury, it's good to have people visit you. What was that guy's name again? Just kidding. He's a good friend, and he was my roommate for a while, you know, when I lived in New York. We caught up on the "Good ole days." He reminded me of an article they wrote about Paris, an article in the New York Times. I guess the economy isn't so good over there. And the New York Times article said that the Parisians were too depressed to be obnoxious. I thought that was pretty funny. My friend brought me a great present. A Towel made by Hermes. It was a great present and something to look forward to when I get out of the shower. It even had a symbol of a phoenix rising from the ashes. Rather symbolic, don't you think? Anyway, thank you my friend. Another friend came to visit as well. Hell, and another friend came by. It was like a party here. All of it exhausting for my condition. But you know, life is therapy. You know, I have therapy once a week now, and I brought my Up & Go to show my therapist how I use it and to get a brush up course. Remember, the Up & Go helps you learn how to walk. It's pretty cool. I was happy because the therapist told me I've improved. I'm happy to hear that. I'll tell you, it's tough work but, like I said, it's better than taking a 'dirt nap.'

Let's see. WHat else has been going on this week? I seem to be having these little moments almost every day. I guess it's from personal family stress and physical exhaustion. But, you know, it's just like I said before. You suck it up or medicate yourself. I'd rather suck it up. On another note, I've been continuing to paint with my father. I'm gonna include an example here. It's been good for my hand. Good fine motor movement. My Dad paints the symbols and I do the abstract painting. We had a circular frame made because it kind of symbolizes how I used to feel. I felt like I was in a long tube with my hand sticking out. It was very claustrophobic. It was how I felt when I was in the hospital. Maybe it was all the hard core drugs they gave me. Either way, I was happy when someone would hold my hand. I'm gonna have my friend here take a photo of what I'm talking about and include it here.

Just working hard. I'm gonna talk to you guys next week. Let's go over to the blog about the past. LINK You know, remember all the stories I tell are true, things that have happened to me, or things I'm going through. It's all true. Remember, the easiest thing to remember is the truth. Talk to you next week. Love, B. Nice

April 21, 2014

OK, so I'm going to vent a little. I have to say, I've been a little bummed out lately. You see, I have a brush up course where they evaluate my physical therapy. I do out patient neurological therapy. They basically said, "You're fucked." No, they said I have been improving but it's really small. I'm bummed out because I work really hard and I've been working really hard since they saw me last year. But I guess I made some improvement. It could be worse. I could have plateaued, or gone backwards. They put some braces on me and got me walking again. I was exhausted. But, like I said, at least I've made some improvement. The other thing that bummed me out is Easter came and went and I didn't see my little one. Haven't seen her now since New Year's. I used to love to watch her run around the yard and collect chocolates or eggs. My friend here reminded me, I could always have Easter next time I see her. We could have an egg hunt. That's kind of confusing to me. OK, I'm finished venting. Just had to get those things off my chest. HI everybody. Welcome to another week of traumatic brain injury recovery. It's true the past week has just reminded me that recovery is very very slow. You have to be ready for that. I remember my doctor said, "Be patient." But I had no idea until now. The other thing I did last week was confirm the kind of trike I'm going to use when I go outside and bike. It's cool. It's kind of like a big mountain bike, but trike. You either use your feet or your hands to propel it. It's pretty cool. It'll be fun because it'll give me something to do with my daughter. She can ride her bike and I can ride my trike. I guess it should be the other way around. But, hey, you know, I'll take what I can get. The other thing I've been doing is I've been using my power chair a lot outside. It's nice to get out. Do exciting things like go up the road and get the mail. I would never think I'd be excited about going up the road to get the mail, but when you're like this, anything new is exciting. I'll tell you one thing though, when you're still and you're just sitting there for hours, you start to see beauty all around you. You just have to sit there and look.

My friend here is going to include the link to my other blog LINK. I talk about things from the past. You tend to do a lot of thinking when you're on your back for so long. Hope you have a good week. Love, B. Nice

P.S. I'm going to include some drawings and some photos I've been doing.

April 15, 2014

Not to get too profound on you, but everything we do doesn't mean shit. Sorry to get heavy, but let me tell you, don't stress about your work, relationships or stuff like that. It just doesn't matter. I realized that after talking with my friend who got pneumonia. I had a flashback to when I was in hospital. I was literally living from one breath to the next. You know I was basically trying to survive. So my friend who had pneumonia was worrying about his images. He's a photographer. I said, "Listen, don't worry about your images. It doesn't matter. Just do what makes you happy." And that's the bottom line. Just do what makes you happy. Welcome to another week of traumatic brain injury recovery. It's been an interesting week. I've been having less and less what I call "moments." I guess the moments were brought on by excessive work at therapy and major stress in my personal life. When I say stress, I'm talking like a dramatic level equal to a latin daytime soap opera drama. Life has been pretty crazy. Anyway, bottom line is, I'm having a better week this week. I notice my friend across from me just took a deep breath and it is a good technique to relax. I used it in the hospital and I do it all the time now. You basically breath in through your nose, a deep breath and exhale out your mouth. It's very simple, but it helps you live in the moment. You know, concentrate on your breathing. Think of nothing else. Sorry, I went off on a little tangent there. I was teaching you meditation. Sorry.

I'm going to include a link to some fashion confessions. You know, my other blog. It's about the past. Not much else to talk about this week. Just working hard. Oh yeah, I did notice one thing. My mom did a photo of me sitting up and I notice I'm a fat ass. Man, I gotta get to the gym! I guess you get a little heavy when you lie on your back for four years. That's all for now. Love you. Love, B. Nice

Oh yeah, I will include some images from our trip. Here's the link to the other blog LINK.

April 8, 2014

All by myself. Man, I can't wait to have a dinner all by myself. That's the first thing I'm gonna do when I get better, is dine alone. People have been feeding me for about 4 years now. I feel like a bird. Anyway, that's just a thought I thought I'd share with you.

Hi everybody. Welcome to another week. I had a, what they call a, brush up course. I went to my old therapy center for a brush up. The first thing I said when I went in there was, "Wow, I love what you've done with the place!" Sarcastically. They changed a few torture things around. You know, like the mat, the bike, the parallel bars. You know, rehab stuff. Anyway, they did stuff like evaluate me. Like put me on the mat, put me on the parallel bars, see how I stood. The whole process was exhausting. I'm still recovering from it. And it triggered more, what I call, moments.

The other thing I've been doing is I've been collaborating with my father. He's a fine artist. A painter. Up at the top I included an example of what we've been doing. His figures represent Earth Wind Fire Water and gravity. I do the more abstract things. Abstract is politely saying, messed up line. I can hardly hold a brush. Anyway, check it out.

It's been nice here. It's turning into Spring. I opened my cafe table outside. Overall the weather really helps. I can get outside and do exercise. It's good for the spirit. You know, the other thing I want to mention is, a couple of my friends stopped by. The one common thing we talked about was meditation. Back in the day, my form of meditation was surfing or running. I would always think about surfing when I was going through the rough stuff. You know, like stuff at the hospital. Surfing really got me through the bad times. Oh, I'm having a flash back. Heh. I was at the hospital one day. They parked me outside the nursing station as a way of keeping an eye on me. They parked a judge to my left and a drug dealer to my right. I said to them, "Hey, have you guys met?" And the funniest part was the judge kept trying to steal my bagel. I'll include some photos from my trip I did. Not much else to talk about. Just working hard. Love you guys. Love, B. Nice