April 21, 2014

OK, so I'm going to vent a little. I have to say, I've been a little bummed out lately. You see, I have a brush up course where they evaluate my physical therapy. I do out patient neurological therapy. They basically said, "You're fucked." No, they said I have been improving but it's really small. I'm bummed out because I work really hard and I've been working really hard since they saw me last year. But I guess I made some improvement. It could be worse. I could have plateaued, or gone backwards. They put some braces on me and got me walking again. I was exhausted. But, like I said, at least I've made some improvement. The other thing that bummed me out is Easter came and went and I didn't see my little one. Haven't seen her now since New Year's. I used to love to watch her run around the yard and collect chocolates or eggs. My friend here reminded me, I could always have Easter next time I see her. We could have an egg hunt. That's kind of confusing to me. OK, I'm finished venting. Just had to get those things off my chest. HI everybody. Welcome to another week of traumatic brain injury recovery. It's true the past week has just reminded me that recovery is very very slow. You have to be ready for that. I remember my doctor said, "Be patient." But I had no idea until now. The other thing I did last week was confirm the kind of trike I'm going to use when I go outside and bike. It's cool. It's kind of like a big mountain bike, but trike. You either use your feet or your hands to propel it. It's pretty cool. It'll be fun because it'll give me something to do with my daughter. She can ride her bike and I can ride my trike. I guess it should be the other way around. But, hey, you know, I'll take what I can get. The other thing I've been doing is I've been using my power chair a lot outside. It's nice to get out. Do exciting things like go up the road and get the mail. I would never think I'd be excited about going up the road to get the mail, but when you're like this, anything new is exciting. I'll tell you one thing though, when you're still and you're just sitting there for hours, you start to see beauty all around you. You just have to sit there and look.

My friend here is going to include the link to my other blog LINK. I talk about things from the past. You tend to do a lot of thinking when you're on your back for so long. Hope you have a good week. Love, B. Nice

P.S. I'm going to include some drawings and some photos I've been doing.

April 15, 2014

Not to get too profound on you, but everything we do doesn't mean shit. Sorry to get heavy, but let me tell you, don't stress about your work, relationships or stuff like that. It just doesn't matter. I realized that after talking with my friend who got pneumonia. I had a flashback to when I was in hospital. I was literally living from one breath to the next. You know I was basically trying to survive. So my friend who had pneumonia was worrying about his images. He's a photographer. I said, "Listen, don't worry about your images. It doesn't matter. Just do what makes you happy." And that's the bottom line. Just do what makes you happy. Welcome to another week of traumatic brain injury recovery. It's been an interesting week. I've been having less and less what I call "moments." I guess the moments were brought on by excessive work at therapy and major stress in my personal life. When I say stress, I'm talking like a dramatic level equal to a latin daytime soap opera drama. Life has been pretty crazy. Anyway, bottom line is, I'm having a better week this week. I notice my friend across from me just took a deep breath and it is a good technique to relax. I used it in the hospital and I do it all the time now. You basically breath in through your nose, a deep breath and exhale out your mouth. It's very simple, but it helps you live in the moment. You know, concentrate on your breathing. Think of nothing else. Sorry, I went off on a little tangent there. I was teaching you meditation. Sorry.

I'm going to include a link to some fashion confessions. You know, my other blog. It's about the past. Not much else to talk about this week. Just working hard. Oh yeah, I did notice one thing. My mom did a photo of me sitting up and I notice I'm a fat ass. Man, I gotta get to the gym! I guess you get a little heavy when you lie on your back for four years. That's all for now. Love you. Love, B. Nice

Oh yeah, I will include some images from our trip. Here's the link to the other blog LINK.

April 8, 2014

All by myself. Man, I can't wait to have a dinner all by myself. That's the first thing I'm gonna do when I get better, is dine alone. People have been feeding me for about 4 years now. I feel like a bird. Anyway, that's just a thought I thought I'd share with you.

Hi everybody. Welcome to another week. I had a, what they call a, brush up course. I went to my old therapy center for a brush up. The first thing I said when I went in there was, "Wow, I love what you've done with the place!" Sarcastically. They changed a few torture things around. You know, like the mat, the bike, the parallel bars. You know, rehab stuff. Anyway, they did stuff like evaluate me. Like put me on the mat, put me on the parallel bars, see how I stood. The whole process was exhausting. I'm still recovering from it. And it triggered more, what I call, moments.

The other thing I've been doing is I've been collaborating with my father. He's a fine artist. A painter. Up at the top I included an example of what we've been doing. His figures represent Earth Wind Fire Water and gravity. I do the more abstract things. Abstract is politely saying, messed up line. I can hardly hold a brush. Anyway, check it out.

It's been nice here. It's turning into Spring. I opened my cafe table outside. Overall the weather really helps. I can get outside and do exercise. It's good for the spirit. You know, the other thing I want to mention is, a couple of my friends stopped by. The one common thing we talked about was meditation. Back in the day, my form of meditation was surfing or running. I would always think about surfing when I was going through the rough stuff. You know, like stuff at the hospital. Surfing really got me through the bad times. Oh, I'm having a flash back. Heh. I was at the hospital one day. They parked me outside the nursing station as a way of keeping an eye on me. They parked a judge to my left and a drug dealer to my right. I said to them, "Hey, have you guys met?" And the funniest part was the judge kept trying to steal my bagel. I'll include some photos from my trip I did. Not much else to talk about. Just working hard. Love you guys. Love, B. Nice

April 1, 2014

Man have I got a big pear! My friend here brought me and my other friend out to lunch and the waiter put a big plastic pear at our table. I looked around the restaurant. No one else had a pear. I said to the waiter, "Why do I have a big pear?" and I gestured with my hand. He didn't think anything was funny, at least anything I said. I guess when you're in a wheelchair and you talk like a burnout, no one takes you seriously. Or maybe that's why I had a big pear. It was to warn everyone, "Stay away from this guy." I mean all the other waiters. Anyway, it was a good lunch. Thank you my friend who's sitting across from me.

Hi everybody, Welcome to another week. Hey it's April Fools Day. I'll get back to that in a minute.

I'll tell you, when you have traumatic brain injury it takes forever to heal. If you're just starting to read this blog and you have a traumatic brain injury, man, get ready because it's gonna take a long time. I've been at this since 2009. I'm still in a wheelchair. Still dizzy and I still talk like a burnout. You gotta have patience. Remember, patience is a virtue, but all virtues have their limits.

What I said above is my profound thought of the day. My friend here reminded me of that and it's true. Hey, you know what else I did recently? I tried a bike, or a trike. It's pretty cool. I'll go every week and go around a lake. It's great to get outside. Feel the wind in your face. Two therapists will go with me. One guy I know. Hopefully he won't push me into the lake. I used to tease him all the time. We'd be swimming in the pool and I would say, really loud, "Hey! I got your memo. I know I have to learn how to do everything all over again, but I really feel uncomfortable about learning how to make out with you." I guess this is his chance to get back at me.

I was reading back what I had said, reading back the stuff above, but I want to clarify one thing. I am getting better. It's very slow, but I do get better. My eyes are registering. I'm constantly changing, but it's all for the good. So I just wanted to clarify that.

My personal life has been like a roller coaster. Remember, it's important you try to alleviate stress. I don't know how you do it, but I meditate. It seems to help a lot. Not much else to talk … Oh yeah, I wanted to tell you more about April Fools Day. My sister runs a therapeutic Equestrian center. She built it and runs it. She's out of town right now and I was going to call her up and say, "There's some dude outside your house with a horse trailer and a horse. And then he tied up the horse to your house and drove away with the horse trailer. He basically abandoned a horse at your house." After laughing to myself for a while I thought maybe it's not such a good idea that I call her and do this. It seemed funny though. My friend here reminded me it's cruel. Hey, but what do you have a little sister for?! I love her though. I wouldn't do anything cruel…maybe. Check out my other blog. It's stuff about the past. My friend here will include the link. I'll include some photos I did from my trip recently. Have a good week and April Fools everyone. Love, B. Nice

March 26, 2014

Hi everybody. Welcome to another week of Paradise. I say this a bit sarcastically. I mean, very sarcastically. It's a bit of a cliche what I'm about to say: you know, you're born alone and you die alone and you have two options in between. You can either be a lump, a useless piece of protoplasm that takes up space on the Earth, or you can have a big adventure. I think I'll go with a big adventure. I think my big adventure, everything I've gone through, has gotten me ready for what I'm going through now. I said it before, but I'll say it again. It's important to look at signs. Am I making any sense? It only took me two brain surgeries, 5 other surgeries, countless MRI's, countless visits to the ER, advice from a nurse and countless drugs to figure this out.

Life has been a bit crazy for me right now. My personal life is beyond crazy. It brings a lot of stress to the table and stress, when you're like this, stress is not good. It really brings you down. I have a lot of what I call "moments." Only way to get through these moments is do a lot of drugs or meditate. I choose to meditate. Like my friend here says, meditate not medicate. It's up to you. You can take some pills, drool and stare at the wall, or you can stare at some trees and the sky and meditate, with no medication. Like I said, the choice is yours.

Let's see, what else is going on this week? When you have traumatic brain injury your life swings back and forth between good and bad. I was going to get all deep on you, but you know what, forget it. Maybe I fell out of bed and hit my head. What is happening is I'm going to go back to out-patient therapy and get a brush up on my walking. That's cool. I'm also going to go back to swimming. That is great. It feels great cause it's really the only place I can play water volleyball. I'm just kidding. It's the only place I can walk freely. It's still bizarre to me. I used to run a four minute mile pace. Now I can't even stand up. Just standing with help is so boring to me. I've been doing a lot of art therapy. I'm going to include a heart that I do every day for my daughter. My friend here will take a photo for me, of a heart, and some other drawings that I do. I was going to include the link to my other blog. You know, I tell stories, well not all the stories, but some stories from the past. Some things I simply can't talk about. Hope you have a good one. Love, B. Nice