March 15, 2014

Hi everybody. I'm gonna dedicate this blog to my friend. She knows who she is. I get to see my daughter because of my friend. She donates mileage on an airline and my mother goes all the way to Texas to pick her up. Anyway, this blog is dedicated to my friend.

It's the middle of March. Beware the Ides of March. Just a thought I thought I'd throw out there. It is the middle of March and Spring Break came by and went, and I got to see my daughter. Man Kids are amazing. LIke I said before, they're really a gauge of time. My daughter is so grown up. Amazing. I took her to a Broadway play. It was enough to drive into the city, but the Broadway play really sent me over the top. When you have Traumatic Brain Injury, any excessive stimulation makes things difficult. I have a friend who was in this Broadway play. She played a leading role in the play. My friend said to me, "Are you sure you can handle all the lights and the music. Remember this play is done by Rogers and Hammerstein." I said, "Sure, I can take it. What's the big deal?" Then the first curtain went up in the first act I thought I was going to fall over in my wheelchair. Talk about an assault to the senses. There were lights, dancing, loud music, fog machine, strobe lights. It was enough to knock me over in my wheelchair. Plus it was really really loud. I had to keep my eyes closed for most of the play. But, you know what. It was all worth it to see the look on my daughter's face. My daughter was on the edge of her seat, smiling for the whole play. Plus, she got to go on stage at the very end, and meet some of the actors. It was all worth it.

You know what's really weird and bizarre? Every once in a while I get an absolute moment of clarity. Just this morning, as I was about to get off my exercise machine, it was like someone flipped a switch and I had a moment of normalness. Well, it was, the closest way I can describe it, it was a moment of happiness, but it was very brief, and then it went back to, well, Hell. It was like someone flipped a switch back. You know, I said it before, but I'll say it again. If you can bottle the way I feel, you could make a fortune. Some people pay a lot of money to feel the way I feel right now. But for 24/7, I don't think so. Anyway, it was good to feel normal even if it was for a second.

You know what's worse than monday morning while it's raining? Nothing. That's just a profound thought I share with you. There is one worse thing, and that's letting your 7 year old daughter drive your power chair. She totally T-boned me. I was in my backup wheelchair when she rammed me.  I think it was on purpose. She was having fun though. Luckily it doesn't go that fast and it has a governor on it. Plus, for some reason, the dog stays at the other side of the house. Smart dog. 

You know, when you have traumatic brain injury, you really got to pace yourself. I'm exhausted from my daughter's visit. Mind you, it was all worth it, but you know, the visit, plus everything else really makes me tired. You've got to pace yourself. My friend here reminded me, sarcastically I might say, "Gee, I never heard you say that before." Maybe I am 93.Image

By the way, here's a picture of me and my heart. I paint a heart almost every day, for my daughter. And no comment like, "Brian, you got so OLD. What the hell?" Especially you my friend in Australia. May I remind you of a time when people thought I was your son. And on top of that, your real son said to your wife, "When's that big kid coming back?"

Oh, I just want to share one other thing with you. There is one other thing worse than Monday rainy morning, and that is getting into a fight with someone you love and halfway through the fight you realize you're wrong. ha ha ha. Anyway, I'm gonna share the link of my other blog with you. My friend here will include the link. By for now. Love, B. Nice