August 3, 2016

Hi you guys! Sorry about the slight delay. My daughter was here most of July, so I kind of got side tracked, but here we go!

The following story takes place in Australia. I lived in Australia for over ten years. I was there with my first wife. In the beginning, we were there under tourist visas. Back then, you had to leave the country every six months and re-enter the country to get another six months. Well, I would often go to New Zealand, specifically, the South Island, to reinstate my visa. I would take a short trip to Christ Church and drive to Queenstown. It was a beautiful drive. Only problem was, when you went to rent a car, they would offer you free bus service to Queenstown. Apparently it was so beautiful, tourists would drive right off the road. Hence, the free bus service. The other thing we found out about, was you never park your car to go for a hike. There were these giant birds that were like a cross between a raven and a parrot. They love rubber on cars. It was like parking your car in Spanish Harlem in the '80's. There was nothing left. The birds would totally trash the car. The other fun thing was, if you went during mating season, the elk would keep you up all night. I found this out the hard way (and no, they didn't find me attractive). We would rent a cabin and all night long the elk would be screeching looking for a mate. It was unreal. I didn't sleep at all. But other than those three things, the South Island was beautiful. Especially Milford Sound.

P.S. And did you know that the air standard for the world is taken from the tip of South Island? The air there is so so clean. You notice it right away. Just a bit of trivia for you.

OK, I'll give you a story from the recent past. I built a house and became good friends with my construction manager. He used to often take me around and show me projects he was working on. Well, he'd just gotten done with this big house. The family he was building for was ultra conservative. There were shutters on every window of the house, this big house. My friend said, as we pulled up, he said, "I gave the new tenants a gift. I etched into each shutter the profile of a dragonfly." His name was Frank. I said, "Frank, that's cool, but did you know that in the gay community, the symbol of the dragonfly represents a very famous poem. The poem is titled, 'Come Hither and Fly Away with me.' The dragon fly is a symbol of this poem. It's very well known." Now Frank is about 6'4" really short hair, a big guy from the middle of LongIsland. He turned to me, put his head back, looked at me kind of cross eyed, and in a think long island accent said, "You're shitting me!" I started laughing and laughing so hard. I said, "Frank, I'm just messing with you." And he said to me, "You're a sick pup, you know that?"

That's all for this week. This is B. Nice signing off. Here's my other blog where I talk about the present. Have a good week. Love, B. Nice

June 1, 2016

Hi you guys. So I'm down, but I'm not out. Check out this link:

http://niceartllc.tumblr.com/

Love, B. Nice

Here's the link to my other blog.

May 24, 2016

Hi everybody. Welcome to the blog where I talk about the past.

So it's come to this. I was in acapulco, in a pool, surrounded by Roman columns with flames coming out the top. I was swimming naked, being served champagne by high class hookers in high heels. My friend here said, "Did you just say, 'just high heels?'" No, they had metallic bathing suits on. Very 70's. The women were serving champagne and various other adult entertainment items. Now I'm stuck at home. I'm 55 and living with my parents. I'm watching public broadcasting TV and watching the most depressing detective story I've ever seen. Oh yeah, and I'm in my bed with the world's smelliest dog. What's the world coming to? My parents did save me though. They saved me from a nursing home. My mom has been looking after me and she's doing an amazing job. Thought I'd just throw that in there.

You know, you take it for granted, but my job brought me to some amazing restaurants. i miss those days. I should have weighed like 300 pounds. We ate great. Hawaii was my favorite because we would have fresh fish every night. The sushi was amazing. Come to think of it, I should be a consultant for people who want to go on vacation. I know where all the good food is.

I'm gonna leave it at that cause I've got to go back to therapy - or was it dinner? I can't remember. Have a good week.

Oh yeah, here's the blog where I talk about the present.

Love, B. Nice

May 17, 2016

Hi you guys. Welcome to the blog where I talk about the past. A family friend came by the other day and dropped off some dinner. A much appreciated dinner. It reminded me of the picture above.

I told you this story a long time ago, but it was so great I think I'll tell you again. I call this story, "My Friend."

It took place in an area called Pretty Beach, Australia. When you would sit down around the campfire, a bunch of kangaroos would come and hang out with you. They were looking for food. Now, imagine this. imagine about eight kangaroos sitting around a campfire like they were your friends. They would sit there and stare at you. Well, I was holding a box of cereal and I reached out to give them some cereal. One of them reached out his paw. Their paws are scary. Their hands are like claws. You'd think they'd be soft and cuddly but they're not. On top of it all, their back legs are powerful with a middle toe that is like a switchblade. I've been told to stay away from their back legs. All my Australian friends say, "Oy mate, she'll cut you in two seconds." Pleasant thought. Anyway, I reached out to give this small kangaroo some cereal. The kangaroo knocked all the cereal off my hand, grabbed the box and ran off with it. All the others chased him into the bush.

That's all for this week. Miss and love all you guys. Love, B. Nice

Oh, check out my other blog, where I talk about the present.

May 3, 2016

Hi you guys. Welcome to the blog where I talk about my past.

The following story takes place in a bar (imagine that) in New York City, around the late '90's.

So imagine this, I was at a Christmas party, a modeling agency Christmas party in New York City. It was in a cool bar in New York City. Anyway, I was sitting around a table talking to some of the models I work with when I felt some person pushing in on me, trying to get in on the conversation. Let me tell you, this person on my left was really pushy, so I pushed back. I gave whoever was there a stiff elbow jab to my left. I then turned to my left and it was The Donald. He wasn't happy. That guy's a big dude. Anyway, I apologized. He still looked unhappy, so I got up to leave. When I turned around there was the largest man I've ever seen. He was helping me move my chair. It was The Donald's body guard. The guy looked like a defensive lineman for the New York Giants. I was happy I didn't pursue the matter and just left to get a beer. It was a good party though.

That reminds me of another story, I think I told you, but I'll tell it again anyway. I was, once again at a Christmas modeling agency party when I didn't feel good, so I decided to leave. I told my roommate I was going and climbed the stairs to make a quick exit. I was on Madison Avenue, so I decided to get a cab. When I saw a cab, I raised my arm and it threw me off balance. I started to fall backwards and looked down I saw the word Police on the car I was about to land on. I thought, "Well, I should probably remove my body from a police car," so I ended up on the ground. Next thing you know, I'm surrounded by police. My friend came out of the party and yelled, "Oh my God! Help him, help him" And no one did anything. My friend is French so he said, in a very thick French accent, "Why don't you guys help him? He does a River Phoenix in front of you and you don't even help him." One of the policemen said, "Shut up Cousteau, and get him out of the street." And we wonder why my head exploded.

That's all for the week. Remember, it's Mother's Day coming up. Here's a link to my other blog.