July 18, 2015

Hi you guys. Welcome to the blog where I talk about the past, my past, as a photographer. Remember I used to lie on my back and think about my past.

One of the most important things to do as a photographer is to have top models in your portfolio. It really brings the book up a notch. I used to always go around to the agencies and look at the board. You know, see who's coming up in the ranks. Every once in a while I would go out to lunch with one of the top bookers. Every once in a while a booker would throw you a bone and give you a top model for a photo shoot.

One time, I was in Spain. I went to have dinner and invited a young model to have dinner with the crew. Well, the girl, she wanted a pina colada. And being Europe and all, I said, "Sure, why not? Have a pina colada." Bad idea. Well, the girl disappeared. She ended up downtown in a fast food restaurant with one of the crew. Well, I can tell you that never happened again. It was like feeding a gremlin some water. Live and learn right? She did become one of the world's top models.

You know, it's pretty  common that models have a short shelf life. They work hard for a short time. Actually, I wouldn't even recommend it to someone that's close to me, or far away for that matter. Remember, you're better off being a smart, educated girl who's pretty.

You know, a friend of mine from Australia stopped by the other day and brought up some old memories of good times. I don't know even where to begin. I lived there for about ten years. It was a great place to start out as a photographer. He was my assistant. His other job was on the fire brigade. He would show up in full uniform on the back of a fire truck, take off his captain's uniform and put on his photo assistant get up. The models would look at him and go, "Who is this guy?" A man in uniform will always break a girl's heart.

Have a good week you guys. Love, B. Nice

Here's a link to my other blog about the present.

July 7, 2015

Hi everybody. Welcome to my blog where I talk about the past. You know, when people always say, "Live in the moment," when you're like this, with a brain injury, the last thing you want is to live in the moment. I used to think about the past or I would remember jokes people would tell me when they stopped by for a visit. Here's one joke and then I will call it quits cause it's too freaking hot:

So there's a ventriloquist on a stage with a mannequin on his knee. The ventriloquist starts telling blond jokes like you know, your average blond jokes. Well, all of a sudden, a blond woman stands up out of the audience. She says, "I'm tired of these blond jokes. I'm tired of people insulting us blonds. We're not that stupid." And the guy, the ventriloquist says, "Lady, just calm down. It's only an act." The woman in the audience says, "I wasn't addressing you. I was talking to that little guy on your knee."

Have a good week you guys. I miss you! Love, B. Nice

Oh yeah, here's my other blog where I talk about the present.

July 3, 2015

Hi you guys. Welcome to my blog where I talk about the past. I can't remember if I told you this story. The memory of a story was triggered by a phone call from an old friend of mine. A friend I used to surf with. One weekend he was kind enough to let me stay at his house in Montauk, NY. The house was right by the sea. We used to windsurf all the time. Anyway, I borrowed his truck, his dog and went windsurfing. I was having a great time. His dog, named King, was in the water and I jibe around him. It was a windy day and a grey day. King was a big dog, was happily playing in the water. Anyway, after my full day of windsurfing, I rolled up my sail and put the board back in my friend's pick up truck. I put the dog in there as well. I went off to the clam bar to have some tuna. Well, I got to the clam bar and I sat down to have a beer and some tuna. Then let the dog out of the back of the truck because he seemed kind of nervous. Well, the dog was walking around interrupting everyone so I tied him up to my chair because the people next to me were complaining about the dog. I carried on having my beer and my food when all of a sudden the dog looked at me with a terrified look on his face. I said to the dog, "What's wrong King?" The dog obviously didn't say anything but arched his back like the Sydney Harbor bridge. The dog's long tail went straight up into the air. The dog then proceeded to spray the entire table next to me out of his butt. Now, I'm not talking about a small dog. This is a big big Chesapeake Bay Retriever. A big dog. Anyway, going back to the people next to me that were covered in saltwater and dog shit, they were a little upset, I must say. The children looked like a Jackson Pollack painting. The father was furious. He said, "Look what your dog has done to us." And repeating a famous line from a Pink Panther movie, I said, "That's not my dog."

Anyway, that's about all for this week. Here's my link to the blog where I talk about the present.

Love, B. Nice

12 June, 2015

(Headshot)

Hi you guys. Welcome to my blog where I talk about the past. I'm gonna tell you some stuff that I used to think about when I was lying on my back for a few years. Let's call this blog "Guns."

The first thing I'll talk about is Guns, Global Warming & Greenland. You're probably thinking, "What the hell is he talking about?" Well, I was in Greenland once and I was talking to a guy who had an interesting job. I said to him, "What do you do up here?" And he said, "Well, I shoot dogs." I said, "What are you talking about?" He said, "Well, we can't use dog sleds anymore because all the ice is melting, you know with global warming and all, there's no more ice shelf. So we've got too many dogs, so I shoot them." I couldn't believe it. What a job.

The other thing I'll talk about is Guns & Guam. Guam is one of the most bizarre places I've ever been. On the main strip, there are big signs of Japanese girls in bikinis. Their hips cocked, holding M16's. It was like a dollar a bullit to shoot an M16. In the background were B52 bombers taking off and landing, carrying nuclear weapons. All this, on a beautiful island in the middle of the Pacific. Apparently, it's a great honeymoon spot.

Another bizarre place I visited was New Guinea. We'll call this paragraph Guns & New Guinea. When I was there villages were fighting against each other. You know, in the old days there were bows and arrows, so when they went to war with each other, a couple people might get stuck with arrows. Now they take each other out with automatic weapons. Another great honeymoon spot. Right Greg? My friend took his wife there on  honeymoon.

And the last thing I'll talk about is Guns & Togo Africa. I was there on a fashion shoot during a military coup. We had to do an emergency evacuation with just our cameras and carryon bags. I had to paddle my way through a sea of soldiers carrying guns. Not a great honeymoon spot.

And that's about it for this week. You know, I often look back at my blogs and I realize the heat and humidity really affect me. It's good to look back though. A good benchmark. Talk to you next week, and stay cool. Love, B. Nice

If you'd like to look at my other blog about the present, here's the link.

June 9, 2015

Hi everybody. Welcome to the blog where I talk about the past.

You know, my friend here goes into the other room, takes one of my journals, opens up a page and we talk about a cartoon I did. This cartoon I did has to do with a deal I did with a cafe owner. I used to go all the time to this one cafe and have a coffee. I would sit there for hours and just people watch. Anyway, I did a bunch of photos for the owner in exchange for coffee. It was a good deal. Mind you, I felt a little shaky. Maybe that's why I can deal with shaking right now, hah.

On a more serious note, I really do believe that everything I've gone through has got me ready for what I'm going through right now. And I mean everything. It's fun, though, to look at what I've done. I used to keep my journals in cartoon form, back in the day when I could draw.

Anyway, I hope you have a good week, and enjoy the cartoons I used to do. Have a good week. Love, B. Nice.

Oh, and here's my link to the blog about the present. I do a blog about the present.