December 27, 2014

Hi you guys. Welcome to my blog where I talk about the past. I used to lie on my back for years and think about what I did. My friend here said, "Fortunately you did a lot of stuff." And I agree.

One time I was on a photoshoot in Guadeloup. You know, in the caribbean. It was for a french magazine. Anyway, the model I was shooting with was real nice. She was perfect for the shoot. She had good skin. I was doing a beauty shoot. The editor from the magazine wanted to do a story about skin. She wanted to do a double page spread of a nude girl on a rock by the sea. I explained this to the model and she said, "No problem, but I have a scar on my thigh from a motorcycle accident." I said, "All right, we'll cover it up with a scarf or your arm or something like that." I turned my back and she sat down and she said, "OK, I'm ready to shoot." I turned around and her whole leg was a huge scar. I thought, My God. She looked like an alien. It was all rather awkward. I did a few films and said OK, let's move on. This was all before photoshop of course.

Another awkward moment I had was with another model. I had to shoot swimwear on her. I think I told you this story, but anyway, I was in Hawaii and I had to shoot swimwear on this one model. Before I would shoot I would try the clothes on the girls. Anyway, this model tried on a swim suit and came out (she was a girlfriend to a famous rock star). She was covered in black and blue punch marks. She also had an infected belly button ring. She looked pretty rough. Not only that, but she was a bit puffy, if you know what I mean. It was the first time I had to send a model home. I felt pretty bad, but she looked terrible. You gotta take care of yourself.

Another awkward moment I'll talk about, I had to shoot with a South Korean client. It was a big campaign. The art director showed up. I think he was 3 feet tall, but his ego was 7 feet tall. He came in and started bossing people around. Anyway, I had to do a photoshoot with a guy and a girl. It was to be a black and white. We were in a studio in New York. The female model happened to be my girlfriend and the guy was someone I picked out. Anyway, the art director, in his broken English, said to the guy and the girl, "Take off all your clothes." I said, "Come on, at least let them wear their underwear, I mean, give me a break." So the models were unhappy. So I said, all right and calmed everyone down. I called their agents. We all worked it out. They were gonna do the campaign topless. It was pretty funny because in the photo, the guy and the girl had to be shouting at each other topless. The art director kept mimicking what he wanted. It was all rather strange. You have this 3 foot art director imitating the emotion he wanted and you had the topless models who were extremely pissed off, and then you had my girlfriend who was really really extremely pissed off at me. And to top it off the male model was trying to pick up my girlfriend. What a weird day. Oh yeah, and on top of it all, in the middle of the day, my assistant screams at the art director, "You, I'm sick of you!" What a day.

OK, I'll tell you one more awkward story. I wanted to get my pilot's license so in order to do that you first have to do what they call "ground" school. So I was almost finished with ground school and something was really bothering me. I recognized the teacher from somewhere. I kept looking at her going, "I know I know her from somewhere." It was really bothering me. Then after about the third week I remembered -  she walked past me and I got a whiff of her perfume. She was a stripper. I'd gone with my track team to a stripper bar. It was all rather awkward.

I have some other stories, but I'll leave them for later. This is B. Nice signing off. Have a good week and check my blog where I talk about the present. Love, B. Nice

December 19, 2014

Hi you guys. Welcome to the blog where I talk about my past. You know, I used to lie in bed for years totally not being able to move. I'm exaggerating. I could move my index finger and my toes. Anyway, one thing I used to do was think about the pets I used to have. I would make up some really cheesy poem. Would you like to hear one? I'll take that silence as an "OK." I know you're probably rolling your eyes, but here we go.

This poem is inspired by a blog I did previously. OK, ready, here's my cheesy poem. This takes place at my parent's house.

After a long day's work, I set out for a run. There was my old one eye'd cat laying in the driveway under the sun. I leaned down to pet him. He was warm. I pet his fur. He stretched and gave me a purr. I carried on my way. It was a great day. I returned from my run. My one eye'd old cat was still in the sun. I reached my eight mile goal. I reached down to pet the cat. I pet him. His body was there but he had no soul. I pet his fur, but he was cold and stiff.  There was no purr. I called out to my mom. But there was nothing to say. We covered him up and there he lay. It turned out to be a sad day.

See, there's my poem. Want to hear another one. I've got one about my old dog. I'll spare ya.

On another note, you know, I was thinking about all of the different agents I had. I remember I had one agent that kept trying to get me to shoot in a more commercial way, a way that would get new clients. It was like putting a round peg in a square hole. It fit but it wasn't right. I tried it, but it just wasn't me. What I'm saying is, you gotta stay true to yourself and do what makes you happy. Life is too short. Anyway, I'm gonna leave it at that. Let's say a prayer for my one eye'd cat. I couldn't resist. Talk to you guys next week. Love, B. Nice

Here's a link to my blog where I talk about the present. I'll include some cartoons I used to do.

December 12, 2014

Hi you guys. I want to dedicate this blog to my little sister. I know I did before. I know I've dedicated a blog to her before, but I want to do it again. She has three great kids, she's a single mom and she's got three crazy dogs. I don't know how she does it, being a single mom, but she does it. Anyway, this blog is dedicated to her. Oh yeah, she's my little sister, but I think she's more mature than me. You know, when I get stuck for stories I always go through my old diaries and my friend and I turn the pages to look at the past. You know, I kept my journals in cartoon form and I always kept polaroids of fashion shoots I did. We came across one fashion shoot that I did in England. I'll put the polaroids here:

It was a good shoot but it reminded me of a time I worked with the Japanese all the time. They said perhaps I would like to go to Japan and I just said politely, "Yeah, sure, why not?" Well, next thing you know, my agent calls me about ten minutes later and says I agreed to go to Japan. It was all a strange experience. I think I talked about it before but my friend who's Japanese said I should make sure I do a contract saying I'll only fly first class. I'll need someone to take me out to dinner. You know, that sort of thing. Anyway, I get there after a long trip (which is a whole other story) but I get there in the afternoon. Right when I get to my hotel they ask me to come over to the office. They put me in a room, a large room with a really long table. They sat me down at one end of the table, there was an intercom phone there, and some dude walks in with two women behind him. He sits down at the other end of the table and the women stand behind him in the corner. He sits down, presses the intercom phone and says, "Perhaps you wonder why you're here." Yeah, it was all a bit strange. It went downhill from there. Once again, whole nother story.

You know, when I was on my back for so long, I used to think about the pets I had, and one pet was a one eyed cat that was really rough looking. He looked like he had been sucked through a vacuum cleaner. Anyway, when I was little I was looking around the house for the cat. I said, "Mom, have you seen the cat?" She said, "I think it's upstairs, but your father just polyurethane the stairs, so be careful." So I started working my way up the stairs and then I stopped. I found the cat. He was lying down at the top of the stairs and he was stuck to the stairs. He laid down in the polyurethane step. Oh, by the way, he wasn't too smart. Anyway, we got him off the stairs after he lost a lot of fur. He went outside to get some air. He laid down in the driveway and accumulated more dirt on his polyurethane fur. Never a dull moment in this house. Let me tell you.

I'm gonna leave it at that because I'm going to look through some other books. I'll leave you with a drawing from the past. Love, B. Nice

Oh, and here's a link to my blog about the present. See you next week. Love, B. Nice

November 25, 2014

Hi everybody. Welcome to the blog where I talk about my past. You know, I lived in Australia for a long time. It was great living there. I really liked the different animals that are there. For example, my neighbor saw a huge reptile in the backyard. She called up the zoo, the newspapers and it turned into a big thing. The zookeeper came over and it turned out to be a plastic toy from next door. She was a little embarrassed, needless to say. One time I was in the outback, you know, in a four wheel drive, driving down the road toward the sunset. I came up over the ridge and I saw a real strange creature in front of me. It had a big long face, big eyes, two long legs and it was just staring at me. It looked like an alien. Then there was another one and another. I thought Oh my god, they're aliens. It turns out they were camels facing me. I couldn't see the rest of their body. Only their front legs. It kind of freaked me out. It was a land of plenty of strange animals. Big crocodiles, big sharks, never a dull moment, I'll tell you.

It was a great place for a young photographer. Plenty of editorial, you know, magazine work. I don't know where young photographers start now. My friend said anywhere and I agree. My friend here says I was lucky to be there then, and I was. My friend got me a visa, I don't know how he got it but it was a visa they only issued to someone like the queen or someone like that, so every time I left Australia, they would say, "Who are you?" I never did ask him where he got the visa from.

I'm not gonna blog anymore cause my little one's here. Let's pick out a random cartoon to share with you. You know, I used to always keep my journals in cartoon form. I'll have my friend pick one out. Talk to you guys next week. Love, B. Nice

P.S. Here's the link to my blog about the present.

November 21, 2014

Hi everybody. Welcome to my blog where I talk about the past. You know, I want to dedicate this blog to my coach from college. I know I already did it, but he helped me get through all this. His coaching and stuff.

You know I was reading the previous blog about Planes, Trains and Automobiles. It reminded me of a time in Australia. The time my first wife surprised me on my birthday. She called a car service. We went down to our local dock. She blindfolded me. I thought, OK, either she's going to kill me or put me on a boat or both! Anyway, she led me to a sea plane and as we were taking off, she took off the blindfold. We flew north of Sydney and landed in a bay at the edge of a state park. We pulled up to a restaurant you can only get to by a sea plane or a boat. It was pretty cool. We pulled up to the restaurant and had a great meal. We flew back with some other people. What a great night.

The other thing I want to talk about is exploitation. You know, when I was a young photographer, people kind of took advantage of me. For example, an editor might give you a story, but you'd have to pay for all the film and processing. Or an editor might give you a brake but you would have to dress up as a woman (just kidding). The point is, you would always have to watch your back. You know, as long as you're aware of what's going on and as long as you're getting something out of it as well, I think it is OK. Another example is when I worked as a photo assistant I would do some crazy stuff for photographers. For example, one guy I worked for in London, he made me go buy his "stuff." He gave me some pretty good advice. After you get my "stuff" if someone stops you, drop the bag and run. I never had to drop the bag and run, but I thought it was pretty good advice. Another time a woman photographer in New York wanted me to strip down to my underwear and do a test. I politely declined, and I was also wearing some pretty ugly grandpa underwear. It was all a bit awkward. Another company I worked for would hire young photo assistants to photograph events. If they liked the image they would use it but never gave you credit, but they would put their name on it. They totally ripped you off, but I got good experience from it. So, you see what I mean? Watch your back.

The other thing I was thinking about was, automobiles. I remember when I was a photo assistant. I was on a job in the mountains of colorado. Anyway, we got in kind of late and rented three cars. We raced each other up the mountain. It was pretty far. When I woke up in the morning, I felt like throwing up. When I was drinking my coffee, I looked at the road we had been racing on. It was a swtchback road up a very steep mountain. The road basically was on the edge of the mountain. If you went off the road, forget it. You'd be toast. We never knew how bad it was until the morning light.

I'm gonna leave it there cause I gotta have some stories to tell next week. This is B. Nice, signing off from the past. Hope you have a good week. Love, B. Nice

Here a link to the blog about the present.