December 27, 2014

Mustique Hi you guys. Welcome to my blog where I talk about the past. I used to lie on my back for years and think about what I did. My friend here said, "Fortunately you did a lot of stuff." And I agree.

One time I was on a photoshoot in Guadeloup. You know, in the caribbean. It was for a french magazine. Anyway, the model I was shooting with was real nice. She was perfect for the shoot. She had good skin. I was doing a beauty shoot. The editor from the magazine wanted to do a story about skin. She wanted to do a double page spread of a nude girl on a rock by the sea. I explained this to the model and she said, "No problem, but I have a scar on my thigh from a motorcycle accident." I said, "All right, we'll cover it up with a scarf or your arm or something like that." I turned my back and she sat down and she said, "OK, I'm ready to shoot." I turned around and her whole leg was a huge scar. I thought, My God. She looked like an alien. It was all rather awkward. I did a few films and said OK, let's move on. This was all before photoshop of course.

Another awkward moment I had was with another model. I had to shoot swimwear on her. I think I told you this story, but anyway, I was in Hawaii and I had to shoot swimwear on this one model. Before I would shoot I would try the clothes on the girls. Anyway, this model tried on a swim suit and came out (she was a girlfriend to a famous rock star). She was covered in black and blue punch marks. She also had an infected belly button ring. She looked pretty rough. Not only that, but she was a bit puffy, if you know what I mean. It was the first time I had to send a model home. I felt pretty bad, but she looked terrible. You gotta take care of yourself.

Another awkward moment I'll talk about, I had to shoot with a South Korean client. It was a big campaign. The art director showed up. I think he was 3 feet tall, but his ego was 7 feet tall. He came in and started bossing people around. Anyway, I had to do a photoshoot with a guy and a girl. It was to be a black and white. We were in a studio in New York. The female model happened to be my girlfriend and the guy was someone I picked out. Anyway, the art director, in his broken English, said to the guy and the girl, "Take off all your clothes." I said, "Come on, at least let them wear their underwear, I mean, give me a break." So the models were unhappy. So I said, all right and calmed everyone down. I called their agents. We all worked it out. They were gonna do the campaign topless. It was pretty funny because in the photo, the guy and the girl had to be shouting at each other topless. The art director kept mimicking what he wanted. It was all rather strange. You have this 3 foot art director imitating the emotion he wanted and you had the topless models who were extremely pissed off, and then you had my girlfriend who was really really extremely pissed off at me. And to top it off the male model was trying to pick up my girlfriend. What a weird day. Oh yeah, and on top of it all, in the middle of the day, my assistant screams at the art director, "You, I'm sick of you!" What a day.

OK, I'll tell you one more awkward story. I wanted to get my pilot's license so in order to do that you first have to do what they call "ground" school. So I was almost finished with ground school and something was really bothering me. I recognized the teacher from somewhere. I kept looking at her going, "I know I know her from somewhere." It was really bothering me. Then after about the third week I remembered -  she walked past me and I got a whiff of her perfume. She was a stripper. I'd gone with my track team to a stripper bar. It was all rather awkward.

I have some other stories, but I'll leave them for later. This is B. Nice signing off. Have a good week and check my blog where I talk about the present. Love, B. Nice