Chapter 71 - October 9, 2012

Well, it's official. My private life has gone from bad country song to full on daytime soap opera drama. Never a dull moment. Remember, time + tragedy = comedy, sometimes.

Hi everybody! Well, another week goes by. I was reading my previous blog and I realized it is good to look back and see what happened. It's good to see where you were then, and where you are now. Because of this thought, I'm going to benchmark where I am now and how I feel. I feel like shit. I'm in a wheelchair, still, but I can walk with the assistance of 2 people. I can feed myself, very carefully. My vision is still double and shaky, but it is getting better. I still have difficulty talking. I was talking to my assistant the other day. She totally misunderstood me. I was talking about something and to her it sounded like I said, "I've done a couple of porn videos." Man, I guess I got a ways to go to get better. Anyway, it's good to keep a diary. I'm still haunted by the videos I made, but I do see a progress. I'm getting better, but it's slow. So slow. Remember, be patient.

The County Nurse came by today. They stop by every once in a while to check up on me. When you have a traumatic brain injury, it's good to try and get a traumatic brain injury waiver. You can only do this if you're on Medicare. If you're going through what I went through, you will understand what I'm talking about. The waiver will bring you so many more benefits. Ask your County Nurse about this. It really helps me. The other thing I've done is sign up for my local gym. It's a wellness center. Good for strength building.

The other thing that happened this week was I went to my local church with my family. They were blessing the animals so I thought it would be appropriate I went. I got to see 2 of my good friends from grade school. One of them is sitting right in front of me. It was good. And my other friends came over to talk about my next fundraiser. The other project I'm working on is a coast to coast trip. I will include the link. Check it out.

https://mypointofviewproject.wordpress.com/

I can't remember what I was going to talk about with a TBI, so I'll go on to tell a few stories about things that happened in the past. You know, I always say your photograph, the picture you take is only as strong as your weakest element. For example, if the clothes suck, the picture sucks. If the make-up is weak, the picture is weak. You know, it's rare that everything comes together and you get a great picture. There are so many elements involved.  (See, my speech needs work. My friend here said, "There's elephants involved?!") Anyway, back to my story. One of the many elements are the people involved. You know like the art director, the photographer, the model, etc., etc. Everyone works hard to get the perfect picture. You know, I've been lying on my back for quite some time. I never really expressed my appreciation but I really appreciate the hard work that the producers do, and the hair & makeup, etc. They all work really hard. I used to tease people a lot. For example, one time this producer left her balcony door open so I thought it would be good to get my assistants together and fill her entire room with full plastic glasses of water. She had to drink her way to the bathroom. And if that wasn't enough, my assistant thought it would be really funny to put her entire mini-bar under her bed. Oh yeah, we also put all of her balcony furniture on her bed, and took a picture of all of us on her bed at the cafe table. We got in trouble because when she checked out, her mini-bar bill was $600. Something like that. Anyway, I just wanted to say the producers get a lot of grief but work really hard. I just want to say a couple of things because I haven't said them in a while. "What? This is it for breakfast? What do I look like a bird? Salmon again? You can't be serious. I've changed my room. Again."

Another person that's really important on the shoot is the hairdresser. Hair is really difficult. It can make or break your photo. It's hard to find a good hairdresser. One guy I knew was a really good hairdresser. You'd never know it by looking at him. The guy looked like a linebacker for the Giants. Anyway, he was from East London. One day he called me up and in a thick East London accent he said, "Brian, I'm shooting fucking dogs today." I said, "Come on, man. The girls can't be that bad." He said, "No man, I'm shooting f-u-c-king dogs. Real dogs. I've got to do the hair on the lot of them. I've had it. I'm going back to London. This is bullshit. I'm a good hairdresser. Now I'm doing dogs." He was upset for some reason. The guy was a great hairdresser, but the last vision I have of him is him throwing down a girl I was dating onto the dance floor and biting her foot. The guy was a wild man. I had to convince her not to call the police. She was really going to call the cops on him. It was all a bit much. Good party though.

Well, that's it for this week. My friend here will include some cartoon images from the past. I hope you have a good week. I'll get back to work. Love, B. Nice

Chapter 70 - October 2, 2012

Hi everybody. Hope you had a good week. Mine started out a bit bizarre. I have a health assistant. He reads me my old blogs from a year ago to see how far I've come. It's very helpful to me. But then he said, "Hey, let's do a video of you with your iPad." I thought, well, that's a good idea. I'll do a video once a week. Well, I did a video with my iPad, and then I watched it. That was a big mistake. Holy shit. I can't believe how devastatingly handsome I am. Just kidding. I can't believe how much I've aged. You have to remember, I haven't looked at myself in like 2 years. I also noticed how messed up I am. I guess it's a good marker. I must have been really messed up right after the 2nd operation. I kept this in mind when I talked to my other aide. I said to her, "Man, I must have been really messed up after I came home after the 2nd operation." She said I was in bad shape. She couldn't believe they sent me home. Anyway, I'm getting better one day at a time.

The other thing that happened to me this week was the owner, the guy that made the Up and Go, he stopped by for a tune-up. It's pretty cool, the Up and Go. It teaches me how to walk again. It's all a bit boring, but I literally had to learn how to like lift my knees up, where to plant my foot. It's very monotonous and full of small moves, but it's necessary to learn how to walk. We take for granted. Just being able to walk across the room is a miracle.

The other cool thing that happened to me was I sat up! My friend came by. He was going to take me out to lunch. He woke me up from my nap. I looked over, saw him and just sat up. I sat up and I went "Holy shit! I'm sitting up!" and then I fell down. Remember, never think too much.

I would like to include a link to my new project coming up. Remember, you gotta have distractions when you're like this. This next project coming up will be a good distraction. I have a good friend helping me put it together. It should be fun and hopefully you'll follow it. Here's the link.

https://mypointofviewproject.wordpress.com/

That's about it for my TBI statements. Let's tell a few stories.

People often ask me, "What's the worst shoot you ever had?" I immediately think of the time I was in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I was shooting a very long commercial job. By day 4 we had accumulated a lot of film. My assistant had all the film in FedEx boxes lined up against her wall. Well the maid, in her infinite wisdom, threw out all of the FedEx boxes. I came back from a day's shooting and got a frantic message from my assistant. We met down at the front desk. I arrived at the front desk and my assistant, she was white faced and looked rather stunned. The manager was dismissing her and saying "Just wait a moment please." I rarely lose my temper, but I started screaming at him, "Where's your fucking dumpster you idiot?!" That's what I said, and that's being polite. But we found the dumpster and we went through all the trash. It had been compressed by the compressor. But we found all the boxes and we took the film out. It was all done just in time because the town dump truck just arrived. Thank God we got the film out. Anyway, we sent the film to the lab and about 80% came out OK. We had to reshoot some things, but a lot was saved.

That was the worst shoot, but the best one was in the south of France. I was staying at a spa. They believed in rejuvenation through grapes. There was lots and lots of good wine and lots of good food. It was a great shoot.

Speaking of wine, you know, I don't drink anymore, but there's a few reasons. I'm going to explain why it's not good to drink it in excessive amounts. You know, I've been on my back for a long time reflecting on my life. Drinking was a big part of my life. Here's a couple of reasons why you shouldn't drink. I'll make it kind of short. One good reason not to drink is, you wind up bringing the wrong girl home at the end of the night. Another reason why you shouldn't drink is that you sometimes puke on the window of your friendly neighborhood restaurant, and then you get arrested if you try to drive. You do stupid things like try to 4 wheel drive in a gravel pit, late at night. Or you throw paint on a sign, late at night. Oh yeah, once again, you bring the wrong girl home, late at night. You try to get out of handcuffs. You end up in bar fights. You bring the wrong girl home at the end of the night. You watch your roommate jump over a skunk and call it a kitty cat. You bring the wrong girl home at night. You go swimming in the ocean late at night. There are so many things I can think of, but the point is, don't drink in excessive amounts, and think twice before you do anything.

The last thing I'd like to talk about is Nightmare Travel Stories. I used to travel almost every week. My job took me to some amazing places. But I had to deal with traveling all the time. There were numerous occasions I would get to the airport for an international flight. I'd get there and I'd have no passport. One time, I heard my name being called out by an Italian cab driver "Breeeaannn De Niche, Breeeaannn De Niche" I've got so many stories. But that'll do for now. I'll talk to you guys next week. My friend here will include some random cartoons I did in the day. Love, B. Nice

Chapter 69 - September 25, 2012

You can take a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Remember that saying? Well, in this case, it's true. If you have traumatic brain injury, you can have all the tools in the world. A car, a power chair, lifts, etc., but if you don't have the desire to improve, you'll never get better. It depends on what level you want to end up. Some people are happy being in a wheelchair watching TV. But I want to get back to where I was. It's a good thing I had a background training. I worked hard every moment to get better. You gotta be like that.

Well the results from the EEG are in. I do have a brain, and it seems to work just fine. It's amazing what they can see. They saw I had brain surgery twice. They could see where I had the bleed. They wanted to check for seizure. They noticed some activity, but they're not sure if they're seizures or what. You know, they don't know everything. So I continue to take my anti-seizure medicine, and do therapy, and get better. There was an article a friend of mine sent me. It was about a woman who had traumatic brain injury. It took her 6 years to get better. So you gotta be patient.

Let's see, what else happened this week? Oh! I took possession of our new car. My parents got a new car that will take me in my wheelchair. We got it cause I almost crushed my mother while transferring. I basically fell down. So to save anyone from getting hurt, we got the car. As I get better, I could always sell it later. Remember, don't get hung up on the tools. My friend here will include a photo of the car. It's big but it works real good. Oh, yeah, my friend here asked me what I called the car. I call it The BEAST. The other thing I've been doing a lot is painting. I paint every day. It's been very fun, and very therapeutic. It's good for my hands. I highly recommend it.

Also check out my new project this is a link below to info related to it. I'm pretty excited about it.
https://mypointofviewproject.wordpress.com/

That's it for TBI. Let's talk about some stories. Back in the early 80's I worked for a famous fashion photographer. One of our jobs took us to Africa. We were working for French Vogue and we were shooting in Togo Africa. Well, getting off the plane, the fashion editor said to me, "Get our stuff, we'll be by the pool having drinks." I thought, great, this is going to be a fun trip. Well, when I went in for the bags, none of our stuff came out. Everyone had gone. I was standing there alone when all of a sudden, a guy came over with a machine gun. He said, "Sir, are you ready for your bags?" I said, "Yeah." He said, "OK." He described the bags that he had. They were ours. He said, "OK," he said, "Come with me." So I went with him. We got in a Jeep. Drove out of the airport, across the runway to the other side of the airport. I was thinking, this isn't good. Anyway, we got to the other side of the airport, he said to me, "Go in there." and "there" was a bunker that I was to go into. So I went in there. Inside the bunker was like something out of a movie. I walked in, the room was very dark. There was a chair in the middle of the room. I sat in the chair, and as my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I saw an old guy on a bench wearing clothes that were even older than him. He was shaking. He looked really scared. And then a light came on. There was one single bare light over a long table. The table was perpendicular to me, starting left to right. The bare bulb hanging from the ceiling had a lampshade over it. Once again, it was like a scene from a movie. There was a guy who was obviously the authoritative figure. He was sitting in the middle of the table under the light. The guy looked like Idi Amin's twin. He had lots of ribbons and stars. There was some guy whispering into his ear. There were lots of guys with machine guns standing around. I thought, great, this is gonna be fun. And then the guy said to me in perfect Oxford English, "Is this your stuff?" And they brought out all of our equipment and clothes. I said, "Yeah, that's our stuff." He said, "What are you doing here?" I said, "Oh, we're doing a fashion shoot for French Vogue." He hesitated, looked at me, looked at the stuff, said, "OK, someone will help you back to the hotel with your stuff. But stay around the hotel and if you photograph the president's palace you might get shot. Have a nice stay." That was nothing compared to the rest of the trip. While we were there, there was a military coup, and an emergency evacuation, a garbage bag full of pot, etc., etc. Never a dull moment.

The next story takes place in Paris, France. I used to shoot all the time for a fashion magazine that came out weekly. I loved shooting with them. I used to shoot at least once every two weeks with them. I would always have to meet with them to discuss the shoot. I would leave my house, go down Rue du Seine, have a coffee at my favorite cafe, go across Pont Neuf. Go through the Louvre, cross Rue de Rivoli and go to the magazine. Not a bad commute. It was a nice walk. I loved going there. The production team, you know, the girls that put the shoot together, they were real cool. I used to hang out there all the time. I would go to their office, sit around a big table and look at the production board. It had my name, the name of the shoot, the fashion editor, the models, the hair and makeup, etc., etc. We would think of girls to use and make up to use, and then we'd talk about restaurants, eating. It was nice. OK, I went on a bit of a tangent there. I guess, I long for the good old days.

Well, that's it for now. I will say one thing. It's an interesting observation. It seems as I've become more and more aware of my body, I get more depressed. It's kind of a drag. You know, this has been going on for three years. I joke about it, but it's tough. I am getting better. Like my friend says, I just gotta suck it up. The other thing is, my voice keeps cracking. I just tell everybody I'm going through puberty again. Talk to you next week. Love, B. Nice

Chapter 68 - September 18, 2012

Suck it up. Suck it up. That's my profound word for the week. You see, a guy I knew from the hospital I went to came by the other day. He was interested in photography so I gave him some pointers and some tips. He has a good eye. I'm not sure exactly what's wrong with him but he has traumatic brain injury like myself. He has a difficult time communicating. He can't really speak. He has a small device on him about the size of an iPhone. He'll press a button and the device will say, "Hello" or "I'll have a coffee." It's basically a communication device. The one thing he can do is sing. He can sing what he has to say. Apparently speaking and singing are two different parts of the brain. So, when I started complaining, he sang to me, "Suck it up." I thought that was amusing. The last time I was told to suck it up was when I was in the ICU (intensive care unit). Then I had to get an MRI done and I didn't want to do it. I hate those things. A friend of mine is a nurse said to me, "Brian, it's really important you have this MRI done. You have to suck it up." I said, "All right. I'll suck it up and do it." Well, on my way into the MRI, a small child came out of the MRI as I was going in. I thought, well, if he can do it, I can do it. I don't know how little kids do it.

This week has been a real busy week for me. First of all, I had to get an EEG done on my brain. It's basically a bunch of wires they put on your head and you've got to carry a little monitor over your shoulder for 24 hours. It's a bit of a pain in the ass, and you look like an alien, but it's important to get it done. My new neurologist wanted that. I've yet to see the results, but no one has called to say you have no brain. So no news is good news right now. I see the neurologist next week. The other thing that happened was I got my new car. It's basically a car that will take you in a wheelchair. It's called an MV1. It's made by Ford and it'll give me a little more freedom. I can go with my friend here to have a coffee. Get out of the house. I will say it's amazing how expensive it is. It seems anything medical is expensive. I got a wheelchair the other day. A power chair. Hell, the thing is so expensive you could trade it in for a new car. Just an observation.

I was going through my old blogs the other day and I noticed that I have made some improvements. They are slow. Very slow, but I keep moving forward. I did it because I was really depressed about my progress. It seems like I'm not getting better, but remember where you were. That's what I do, and that's what I did. I looked back to a year ago. It made me feel better. Hell, when I was in ICU I was almost dead. So I say, I'm better now.

Let's tell some stories. I am doing this blog to try and help people that have traumatic brain injury, I've gone through a lot and a lot's happened to me. I truly believe all these things got me ready for what I'm going through.

I worked for a certain English fashion magazine all the time. I worked with one specific editor all the time as well. We worked together so much she even gave me a theme song. It was a song done by Crowded House. The song was entitled, "Everywhere you go you take the weather with you" and I guess it was true. Every time I worked with her we had bad weather. It was crazy. One time we were on the east coast of America and shooting when a fog bank rolled in. It was the Spring. I was driving the minivan around thinking what on earth am I going to do? It's horrible out. Just give me a nice house with porches. I can make it work. But there was no budget for a nice house with porches. I was driving around when I saw the perfect house. I went up, knocked on the door. No one was there. I looked in. It was obviously boarded up for the Winter. I thought, well, there's no one here. Perfect. Let's shoot here, ha ha. So I spent the rest of the day shooting at the house. Thank God nobody came home. But then, as I'm about to finish, the neighbor came over. She said, "Oh, how interesting. What are you doing." She said this in a very thick English accent. I said, "I'm shooting for a new English magazine and a friend of a friend got me permission to shoot here." I basically talked my way around that one. Then she said, "Oh, well why don't you pop on over for some tea and crackers." Well who can resist tea and crackers so I went over. We sat down, had a chat. I was there for about an hour. You know, just small talk. I got in my van and drove back to the hotel. The people that owned the house are probably thinking, "What the hell happened?"

I used to love working with that editor. It was fun. One of the last shoots we did I remember her talking to a priest. She was trying to explain why it's OK to have a topless girl leaning against his wall in Santa Fe. Never a dull moment.

The following story took place in Paris, France. I had a really good friend who had a restaurant near Notre Dame. At the end of the night we would always go there to have dinner, close the place down, break out the music, break out the cavados (apple liqueur), and party. Well, after a few hours and a few bottles, we thought it'd be fun to go out, so my friend got his Czechoslovakian jeep (a 4 wheel drive monster), and we all piled in. It had no roof and it was raining. My friend said, "No problem." He ran inside, got a bunch of garbage bags and we put them on. they worked pretty good. Well, he started driving and he thought it would be fun to go down the steps near the river. But he proceeded to go down the steps in the jeep I was in the back and I thought, This is not a good idea. So I jumped out. Well, they proceeded down the steps and along the quay. And I thought, "The bastard made it." Then, they started to go up the steps on the other side. I thought, well, I gotta catch them. so I started running down the middle of the street in my plastic bag in the rain. I ran by some police that were guarding the prime minister's house. I stopped running. Walked past them, said, "Good evening. They looked at me with their machine guns ready. they said good evening, so I just walked past them and continued. Then, when I was at a safe distance from them, I continued running until I caught up with my friends in the jeep. We all went to a local night club and danced until the sun came up. The scariest part about this story is this was a typical night for me when I lived in Paris. No wonder why I have traumatic brain injury.

My friend here will include some cartoons from the past.  Have a good week everybody.

Oh, yeah, I want to tell, one more story. Remember a few blogs back I told you I ran across America in 1979. It was a 12 man relay team. We made the Guinness book of world records. Anyway, at about 2 am I was running through he desert all by myself with my baton and flashlight. You see the van would drive down the road 2 miles and wait for you. Anyway, I was running i9n the middle of the road through the desert when all of a sudden a wolf/wild dog tried to bite me and then another one tried to bite me. all of a sudden I was surrounded by a pack of wild dogs. I didn't know what to do, but every time I pointed my baton at a dog, he would cower and run away. I thought to myself, hell, they think the baton is a weapon. So I was running int he middle of the road pointing my baton and screaming. Well, the guy was next to run saw me coming out of the dark. He was freaking out. He said, what are you screaming for? I said, there's wild wolves out here. No one believed me because I like telling stories. But it was true. I was surrounded by wolves. Well I gave the baton tot he next guy. I said,, holy shit good luck. That was crazy. and everyone who got back into the van said "Oh B nice is just telling another story. You know the boy that cried wolf. Typical." The last vision I have of the next runner is him sprinting trying to keep up with the van crying and saying, "Don't leave me here. Don't leave me here." The boy that cried wolf. Little do you people know, all my stories are true. Love, B. Nice

Chapter 67 - September 11, 2012

Hey, check out the date above. I want to dedicate this blog to someone I knew in the Twin Towers. I won't go into details, but I will tell you, he was a cool guy. If I could, I'd raise a pint of ale to ya.

Hi everybody, you know every time September 11 comes around you see pictures of falling buildings, wrecked fire trucks, people covered in white ash, total death and destruction, but I have a good story.

September 11, 2001, I was out surfing in Montauk. It was a beautiful day. Just like today. There was a north wind, a Bermuda low, hurricane pushing up a great hurricane swell. It was ideal conditions for surfing big waves. You see, a lot of people from a certain agency in the Twin Towers called into work and said they wouldn't be there. They basically played hooky that day because of the waves. It's a good thing they did because their lives were saved because of the big waves.

That's enough about that. Let's go back to traumatic brain injury. You know, we go through life avoiding holes. I've fallen into a huge hole. I need lots of help getting out. It's a bit of a cliche, but I am in a big hole. First thing you have to do is save yourself, and then you need a point person to help you get up and start your climb out. Friends and family are so important.You know what I'm going to tell a few stories instead. I got side tracked and forgot what I was going to say. I started thinking about the above paragraph too much. Let's tell a few stories.They are going to be random stories.

The following story takes place in Paris. When I was living in Paris, I would often go to the movies by myself. The movies were often on the Champs Elysees. Anyway, I was walking to the movie. I turned around and saw a group of soccer hooligans, and I looked in front and there was another group of soccer hooligans, and then I looked to my right and there was some riot police in a van. One of the policemen was walking out with a riot shield and a baton. I said to him, "What's going on?" He looked at me, put down his plexiglass visor and he said, in a very thick french accent, "Get out of here. There's going to be trouble." I thought, Oh my God, I gotta get out of here.So I ducked into a cafe. It was a typical tourist cafe on the Champs Elysees. It had an outdoor cafe, but it was walled in with glass. I sat down and ordered coffee. The two groups met. The riot police came out. So I jumped up, ran to the bar, ordered a beer, sat down at my table and watched a full on riot occur. Very entertaining and better than any movie you could go see.

The following story took place during a photographic shoot in Santa Barbara, California, USA. The day before our shooting, there was a series of small earthquakes. Our location van driver wouldn't shut up about them. He kept going on and on about earthquakes. (A location van is where they do all the hair and makeup, catering, wardrobe. It's basically a mobile studio.) Anyway, on that morning we were shooting and he would go on and on about the earthquakes. Every time I'd go in to get a coffee, he'd be chatting about the earthquakes. I shot all morning. Worked hard. We had lunch and I had to listen to him talk about earthquakes. I was in my car trying to catch a few ZZZz and I couldn't sleep because I heard him talking about earthquakes. It was driving me nuts, so I got my assistants. We all stood on the back bumper and the back ladder. On the count of 3 we all jumped up and down on the bumper and the ladder. We really got the location van rocking and rolling. I threw down a few stands and lights to make it a little more dramatic. Well, the results were perfect. The van driver, the one who was going on and on about earthquakes, he screamed, "Oh, my God! an earthquake, everyone get out of the van quick, stay away from the building. Get into open space." Everyone, I mean everyone came piling out of the van. I was crying I was laughing so hard. One of the models even managed to call her boyfriend. She said, "We're right in the middle of an earthquake." It was very funny, but I never did get coffee for the rest of the day.

Let's talk about the mask. My friend here reminded me. We never did talk about the mask. (See a few blogs back.) When I was in Australia, I would often go to a certain store to buy primitive artwork. I used to collect primitive art, but I would always collect like baskets, books, kitchen stuff, you know everyday stuff.  But one day, I walked into this store and I saw a mask I really liked. Something about it really appealed to me. Well, anyway, I bought the mask, brought it home and hung it on the wall. The first night I had the mask my wife at the time and I went to bed. I was sleeping in a deep sleep when I had the most bizarre dream. I dreamed something was circling my apartment outside. Some energy that would go from window to window trying to get in, faster and faster. It was outside. Then it was inside and was making a noise like Whooosh whoosh. It would get closer and closer to me. It was very intense, and as it got closer to me I had a nightmare of slaughtered kangaroos. Everything was red. I woke up screaming. I looked over and my wife was screaming. She was having the same nightmare. How bizarre was that? Well, I went into the kitchen, got some tequila. I was looking at the mask when all of a sudden one of the pieces of the mask fell off. I thought, OK, that's it. I put the mask in the bag it came in and put it outside. The next morning I brought the mask back. The guy I bought it from said, "Yeah, no problem, I'll take it back. I understand." I said, "By the way, what was with this mask anyway?" He said, "The history of it was that when they brought it out once a year and they used it during a ceremony where they would slaughter animals and have a big party." I thought, "OK, thank you. Bye." I never went back there.

I've gotta go. A friend of mine is coming. She's a creative director. I 'm gonna give her some fake bugs to put on the art director's shoulder. I can't be there. I can't be a photographer, you know, do the fashion thing, but I can be there in spirit. See you next week. Oh, yeah, my friend here will include some drawings. By for now. See you next week.  Love, B. Nice