Chapter 70 - October 2, 2012

Hi everybody. Hope you had a good week. Mine started out a bit bizarre. I have a health assistant. He reads me my old blogs from a year ago to see how far I've come. It's very helpful to me. But then he said, "Hey, let's do a video of you with your iPad." I thought, well, that's a good idea. I'll do a video once a week. Well, I did a video with my iPad, and then I watched it. That was a big mistake. Holy shit. I can't believe how devastatingly handsome I am. Just kidding. I can't believe how much I've aged. You have to remember, I haven't looked at myself in like 2 years. I also noticed how messed up I am. I guess it's a good marker. I must have been really messed up right after the 2nd operation. I kept this in mind when I talked to my other aide. I said to her, "Man, I must have been really messed up after I came home after the 2nd operation." She said I was in bad shape. She couldn't believe they sent me home. Anyway, I'm getting better one day at a time.

The other thing that happened to me this week was the owner, the guy that made the Up and Go, he stopped by for a tune-up. It's pretty cool, the Up and Go. It teaches me how to walk again. It's all a bit boring, but I literally had to learn how to like lift my knees up, where to plant my foot. It's very monotonous and full of small moves, but it's necessary to learn how to walk. We take for granted. Just being able to walk across the room is a miracle.

The other cool thing that happened to me was I sat up! My friend came by. He was going to take me out to lunch. He woke me up from my nap. I looked over, saw him and just sat up. I sat up and I went "Holy shit! I'm sitting up!" and then I fell down. Remember, never think too much.

I would like to include a link to my new project coming up. Remember, you gotta have distractions when you're like this. This next project coming up will be a good distraction. I have a good friend helping me put it together. It should be fun and hopefully you'll follow it. Here's the link.

That's about it for my TBI statements. Let's tell a few stories.

People often ask me, "What's the worst shoot you ever had?" I immediately think of the time I was in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I was shooting a very long commercial job. By day 4 we had accumulated a lot of film. My assistant had all the film in FedEx boxes lined up against her wall. Well the maid, in her infinite wisdom, threw out all of the FedEx boxes. I came back from a day's shooting and got a frantic message from my assistant. We met down at the front desk. I arrived at the front desk and my assistant, she was white faced and looked rather stunned. The manager was dismissing her and saying "Just wait a moment please." I rarely lose my temper, but I started screaming at him, "Where's your fucking dumpster you idiot?!" That's what I said, and that's being polite. But we found the dumpster and we went through all the trash. It had been compressed by the compressor. But we found all the boxes and we took the film out. It was all done just in time because the town dump truck just arrived. Thank God we got the film out. Anyway, we sent the film to the lab and about 80% came out OK. We had to reshoot some things, but a lot was saved.

That was the worst shoot, but the best one was in the south of France. I was staying at a spa. They believed in rejuvenation through grapes. There was lots and lots of good wine and lots of good food. It was a great shoot.

Speaking of wine, you know, I don't drink anymore, but there's a few reasons. I'm going to explain why it's not good to drink it in excessive amounts. You know, I've been on my back for a long time reflecting on my life. Drinking was a big part of my life. Here's a couple of reasons why you shouldn't drink. I'll make it kind of short. One good reason not to drink is, you wind up bringing the wrong girl home at the end of the night. Another reason why you shouldn't drink is that you sometimes puke on the window of your friendly neighborhood restaurant, and then you get arrested if you try to drive. You do stupid things like try to 4 wheel drive in a gravel pit, late at night. Or you throw paint on a sign, late at night. Oh yeah, once again, you bring the wrong girl home, late at night. You try to get out of handcuffs. You end up in bar fights. You bring the wrong girl home at the end of the night. You watch your roommate jump over a skunk and call it a kitty cat. You bring the wrong girl home at night. You go swimming in the ocean late at night. There are so many things I can think of, but the point is, don't drink in excessive amounts, and think twice before you do anything.

The last thing I'd like to talk about is Nightmare Travel Stories. I used to travel almost every week. My job took me to some amazing places. But I had to deal with traveling all the time. There were numerous occasions I would get to the airport for an international flight. I'd get there and I'd have no passport. One time, I heard my name being called out by an Italian cab driver "Breeeaannn De Niche, Breeeaannn De Niche" I've got so many stories. But that'll do for now. I'll talk to you guys next week. My friend here will include some random cartoons I did in the day. Love, B. Nice