Hi everybody. Welcome to my blog where I talk about my past. I’m gonna dedicate this blog to a friend of mine who passed away. Let’s call this blog “Roommates Part B”.
As I said in my previous blog, I had a lot of roommates as I was in the hospital for a long long time. I’m gonna continue to tell you about several other roommates I had.
Let’s call the next roommate “The Sticky Man.” Now, I’ll explain what I mean. I had a roommate in one hosptial. I heard him say to me, “Hey, what’s all this sticky stuff all over me?” and I look up at him and I said “Dude, that would be shit.” The guy must have spent the whole night removing his diaper and covering his body. It was nasty. The nurses were not happy. The guy was out of his mind. I remember the social worker came in to talk to him. She said, '“Where are you going after the hospital? Are you going home with a health aide? Or are you you going to a sub acute facility like a nursing home?” He replied, “Oh, I’m going home. My wife worked everything out. My family is quite wealthy. We’ve hired several people to take care of me.” Well, I overheard the conversatioin. After she left, I said to him, “What was all that about?” because I knew the guy was pretty much homeless and his wife had died several years ago. I think I know where that guy ended up.
The next roommate I’ll call “The Cirminal.” Now, one morning I woke up to see an armed police officer at the foot of the bed next to me. There were also two armed policemen outside the room. There was a man handcuffed to the bed. I guess they came in late at night and put the criminal in the bed next to me. We didn’t talk much because he wasn’t there very long. I don’t know what he did, but it couldn’t have been good.
The next roommate we’ll call “The Biker.” Now, one morning I woke up to see a true biker, I mean gang biker, you know, like the Hell’s Angels, next to me. The guy rolled his bike and ended up with a serious head injury. The rest of his biker gang was there with him. It was a surreal image, and one guy noticed I was awake. He came over to me. Mind you, this guy was like 300 pounds, 6’4”. He came over to me and said, “Hey man, you snore a lot. You kept us up all night. You’re lucky you’re all fucked up because I would fuck you up.” I was thinking sarcastically, “What a nice guy.”
I’ll tell you one more. It was pretty funny. Now, a new policy was introduced to the hospital I was in. They put LoJack locaters on our wheelchairs, and an alarm would go off if we left the floor. I guess the staff was tired of chasing us down the hall. I didn’t mind. I didn’t care, but it drove my roommate crazy. He said no one could control me, man. Well, of course, I encouraged him to try and pry the LoJack system off his chair. He would spend hours with a Swiss Army knife trying to take the system off the chair. Now I’ll explain why we have these lojacks in place. You see, there were three guys on my floor. They were sick of being in a hospital so they decided to go out and have a drink. Well, what they did was they wheeled themselves, down the hall. Got on the elevator. managed to get out of the hospital in their power chairs and go to a bar. Well, they had quite a bit of beer which is one thing, but the problem was, they all had colostomy bags and they drank so much that the bags burst apart. You can image the mess they made. The bartender was not happy. He called the hospital and they came to get the guys. I thought I was a rebel, I just went down to the gift shop to browse a little.
That’s it for now. Love and miss you guys. And if you ever visit someone in the hospital, take them out for some fresh air. They might appreciate that and not go to a local bar.
Love and miss you guys, love B. Nice