December 15, 2015


Hi you guys. Welcome to my blog where I talk about the past. You know I was in bed for so long, I would think about things from the past just to get through the day.

I'm gonna call this blog, "Kids are so cruel." I'll explain what I mean.

I remember there was this one kid that would always follow my friends and me around. This kid was relentless, so of course, we thought we'd torture him. We found a big cow paddy.  A fresh cow paddy in the middle of a field. We put an M80, which is like a quarter stick of dynamite. (My friend here said, "What the hell were you doing with a quarter stick of dynamite?" I replied, "Well, most ten year old boys have an M80 around somewhere." Anyway, back to the story.) My friends and I put the M80 in the middle of the cow paddy and told the kid that kept following us to stay there and make sure it didn't go out. My friends and I ran around and hid behind a tree. All we heard was, "It's still going. It's still going. It's still going." Then, BANG. SPLAT. There was cow shit all over the tree we were hiding behind. Then there was silence. Then all of a sudden we heard "Waaaaaaaaaa." We looked from behind the tree and there was this little kid covered in smoking cow shit.

This kid did get even with me, scared the shit out of me because one day I walked into my friend's house and there was this kid with a loaded revolver pointed at my head. It was a real loaded gun. The little kid had found his father's hand gun. After checking my shorts, we got the kid to put down the gun and told his father. It's probably why I'm like the way I am now.

You know, I was on the receiving end of all this drama once in a while. For example, I was camping with my friend in upstate New York. We were camping at a spot we would always go to. Anyway, one morning I woke up and before I could say good morning to everyone, I felt my friend push me down into my sleeping bag. They held the sleeping bag shut and dragged me around the campfire. Then they all said , "Pile on!" and they all jumped on top of me, and the dog too. And then, to top it all off, someone would politely fart on me. So, you see, sometimes it was my turn to get the raw end of the stick.

I'll share with you one other story because I got a lot. I was coming back from the bus one day, the local school bus, and this girl I would hang out with said to me, "I don't get poison ivy." I replied, "Come on, most people get poison ivy." And she said, "No, not me." I said, "I don't believe you." And after arguing back and forth I dared her to jump in a patch of poison ivy. Well, she took the dare and jumped in the patch of poison ivy. I said, "OK, I dare you to rub it all over you." And she did, all over her neck, her arms, her body. You know, everywhere. Well, the next day she was absent. She was also absent the following day. she was absent for like two weeks. I guess she was allergic to poison ivy after all. Like I said, Kids are cruel.

One other story I've got to tell. I'll make it short. I was at a dinner party and my niece was talking to an older guy. The older man said, "What's your favorite color little girl?" She said, "Yellow! Like your teeth." Like I said, kids can be cruel.

Have a good week. Love, B. Nice

Oh yeah, here's the link to my blog about the present.