February 28, 2015


Hi everybody. Hey, it's the last day of February. Can you believe it? Welcome to another week of traumatic brain injury recovery. Welcome to the blog where I talk about the past. I'm gonna call this blog "Three Gendarmes, The Big One, and The Beverly Wilshire Hotel." Now, I know what you sick puppies are thinking about and it has nothing to do with that.

Let's start with The Three Gendarmes. When I lived in Paris I sub-rented an apartment from a friend of mine. It was a cool place but way way upstairs. Like an eight floor walk up. No elevator. I was sleeping one morning when the doorbell rang. I said, "Who is it?" Because I had an intercom. The reply was, "It is the Police." Well, I let them in, of course. They finally made it into my small apartment. There were three gendarmes. Three people from housing and three other people I didn't know about. And of course there was myself and my ex wife. The room was about, I don't know, 15X20. Very small. We were all awkwardly standing there looking at each other and I said, "What's up you guys?" And they explained to me that the rent hasn't been paid in about six months. Apparently there was a rent increase and my friend didn't know about it. The old rent was automatically deducted from his account and the rent I paid into his account wasn't credited properly. It was basically a huge mess up. What a nightmare. Anyway, they came to evict me. A woman stepped forward and explained to me the situation and she whipped out a clip board and said, "Now I will take inventory." I guess they were gonna take possession of all the beautiful furnishings I had. She looked around and she started with the mattress on the floor. She said and wrote down, "One old mattress." Then she looked around and turned around and saw a really old table behind her. She said, "One old table and one old chair." And then she saw the old T V on the floor that was only black and white (oh, yeah, the tv I learned french on by watching old Magnum PI reruns). She said, "One old TV." And that was it. They all looked at each other and they looked at me, and they must have felt sorry for me because they all left, and the woman said, "Tell your friend about the rent increase," and left. It was all bizarre.

Now let's talk about The Big One. When there is a Bermuda low pressure storm system it pushes huge waves towards Montauk, and creates offshore winds. What I'm saying is a Bermuda low produces some amazing waves. But the only problem is they are huge. I heard my local friends talk about the wave and I grabbed my board and my friend and went down to the beach. It was all what they say, closed out. You couldn't surf at my local spot. It was too big so we went to another spot. I took out my board and I was thinking to myself, "Man, it looks pretty big. I wonder if it's safe." And just then, on cue, a guy walked past me with a broken nose and blood all over his head. He said, "Man, it's big out there." So, like the young idiot I was, I decided to paddle out. Now, when it's this big, you get some dangerous shore breaks, so you have to paddle out when there's a lull in the waves, and I mean paddle fast. OK, I'm gonna tell you a short story within this story. I gotta tell you a surfing story. I remember when it was big once, I was paddling out really fast and I looked to my right and one of my friends was paddling fast as well, The waves were huge. Anyway, I looked at the horizon and said, "Oh shit, we better haul ass, look it's coming." We paddled fast. He was a little behind me. Then, all of a sudden the big one jacked up and I managed to break through the wave. Now imagine the scene in The Perfect Storm when the boats try to make it up the wave. I made it, but my friend didn't. I heard the words, "Oh shit!" and he did what's called "going over the falls." He got thrown backwards and dropped I don't know, 20 feet into the turbulent whitewater. Next thing I know I see him getting washed up on the shore. He was all right, but he was pretty beaten up. Now, where was I? oh yeah, going back to paddling out fast. I made it to what they call the line up. I made it to the deep water where I waited for my ride. A big one showed up and I rode the most amazing wave ever, right back to shore where I managed to get in safely, got in my car and went home. It was a one ride day. Like my friend here says, see, I'm not such a young idiot. You gotta know your limits.

The next story took place at the Beverly Wilhsire Hotel. You know, as a photographer, I was never what you call an A list photographer. I was maybe B list or C. I'd still work all the time but I was never a top top photographer. But in the '80s I worked for plenty of guys who were A list. I remember one time I was working for a guy. We got flown to LA to do a 4 page shoot. This is when magazines had good money. Anyway, we got to the hotel and decided we should get room service. Well, since the main photographer had a big suite, we decided to have dinner in his room, his suite. We were in there waiting for food that we ordered and a waiter showed up with a beautiful table. He set it up with a white table cloth, beautiful china, silverware and candelabra and flowers. Another guy came in and made us a cesar salad and another guy showed up and served us amazing wine, and then another guy showed up with our dinner. It was amazing. We had a great dinner along with an amazing dessert followed by a glass of brandy. I was pretty ripped. Anyway, I decided that I should go out and get some water and some beers for the next day. I remembered there was a convenience store down the block. Now this is about 2 am in Beverly Hills. Well, I looked around. There were no cars. No one. It was deserted. I ran across the street and all of a sudden a police car shows up out of nowhere. He stops, makes me get on the curb and says, "Can I see your id please, " as he shined his flashlight on my face. I gave him my driver's license and he said, "New York, huh?" I said, "Where did you come from? You appeared out of no where." He said, "Be quiet sir, and stand up on the curb." Well, the guy gave me a summons. It kind of ruined my night, but just another moment in the life of Brian Nice..

That's about it for this week. I'll give you my link to my blog where I talk about the present. This is B. Nice signing off. Hey! Check it out! My daughter is coming to visit me next week. Pretty cool. Love you guys. Love, B. Nice