September 3, 2014


You know, I've met a couple cougars in my life, especially on this job. The first time I met a cougar I was in New York showing my book around. I guess that dates me, showing my book around. Anyway, I was showing my book and the woman, the art director, looked through my portfolio and she closed the book and looked at me like I was fresh meat and she started describing the job and she said, at the end, I'm sure we're going to get along just great, and she grabbed my knee and said, "Right?" Well, I never got the job because she must have seen the terrified look on my face.

Another time I happened to meet two cougars in one go. I was at a bar in Florida waiting for my assistant. An older woman sat down next to me and started chatting. She bought me a beer. We were talking. And then another woman came and sat next to me. Apparently they knew each other. I was being double teamed by a bunch of cougars. I asked for help from the bartender. He just smiled shook his head and walked away. Thank God my assistant showed up. I gave him a hug and grabbed his hand and walked into the restaurant. They never talked to me again.

One other time I met a cougar I was in southern New Mexico. We were looking for a location. I was in a dry riverbed. We went around a corner and right in front of me was a giant cougar or mountain lion. Who knows what you call it. All I know is it was big. Anyway, it seemed more scared than I was. Although, he had no pants to wet. He took off.

You know, when I was a photo assistant, I probably was the worst assistant in the world. One time we were in a brand we had all the film with us. We had been on a big commercial job for a cigarette campaign. We had like, I don't know, 3000 rolls of film on us. They were in a giant bag. Anyway, in our infinite wisdom we put the bag behind the bar. I thought that would be the safest place. Anyway, after a night of partying we got in the van and drove back to the hotel. Halfway through the trip to the hotel I said, "John, do you have the film?" He said, "No, Frank do you have the film." Frank said no. Frank then said, "Don, do you have the film?" And then we all looked at each other and screamed "Oh my God!" We did a high powered U turn in the middle of the road. We got back to the bar and the place was shut closed. We ran around to the back and the janitor was cleaning the bar mats. I ran inside. Thank God the bag was still behind the bar. I snuck out with that bag and threw it in the car. It was another moment I averted death.

I'll tell you one more story. I have many more, but I'll tell you one more. We were shooting a cigarette campaign in helicopters. I was with a photographer in one helicopter and we were photographing the models in another helicopter. Oh yeah, we were over the Grand Canyon. Anyway, the photographer I was working for shouted at me, "Give me the 85mm lens." Well, I reached into the bag and, well, it's not quite clear to me what happened next. I either a.) dropped the lens into the Grand Canyon or b.) I simply forgot the lens back at the studio. Either way, I was in deep shit. I'll never tell you what really happened. But, anyway, he said to the pilot, "Great! I have to use a shorter lens and get closer to the helicopter where the models are." He looked at me and said, "Great, see, we have to get closer and we all might die." And sure enough, we moved closer to the other helicopter. The other pilot was looking at us like we were crazy. Anyway, we got the shot and I lived another day.

That's all for now. To see my other blog, mypointofview, you have to go to my website. You go in from there. Have a good week. Love, B. Nice