Chapter 44 - April 10, 2012

Shake you bastard. Shake.  That's what my little dog would think as he looked up at me from my wheelchair.  He would eat all the food I would drop when I had dinner.  We should have named him Mr. Crumbs.  He keeps the floor clean.  Never a dull moment.  That's for sure.  You see, there's a Yin and a Yang for everything in life.  The more I shake, the fatter my dog gets.  The less I shake, the skinnier he gets.  You see, my dog is getting skinny.  Yes, my shaking has decreased.  They call it ataxia.  It came from either the injury or the operation.  All I care is that it's diminishing.  It's a relief not to stab yourself in the face with your own fork when you try to eat.  I can eat like a normal person now.  A big victory.

I spoke to my neurologist about this and a few other things last week.  I was concerned about something else.  He said to me, "Brian, your case is so rare and unique, there is no benchmark.  The only advise I have to give you right now is remain optimistic and keep doing therapy."  I wasn't sure how to take that advise.  Was it good news or bad news.  I finally concluded,  Oh, it's good news, because I can make my own destiny up.  So I remain optimistic and I work hard to get better.

Happy Easter everybody.  It was Easter this past Sunday.  What a great day.  I had a great day with my family, though I missed my little one.  It reminded me of another great day I had in the past.  I was on a photo shoot during Easter.  We were all bored so we went to the local thrift store to buy an Easter outfit.  We allocated $25 per person to buy an outfit.  It was fun.  We all looked great.  Even the maitre'd of the restaurant said we looked great and then he asked what theatre are you with.  The assistant stylist, he looked particularly good.  He looked like a '70's movie star.  Man, that guy knew how to style.  Though I think he spent more than $25.  It was a fun night.

Oh, I just remembered something.  It was a flashback, a dream I had when I was in intensive care.  It's important to maintain a good imagination.  A good imagination as well as being fit really helped save me.  A good imagination can really help you.  And music.  If you can listen to music.  It's important, and now to the flashback I had.  Very brief but important

This week, not much happened.  I went to a funeral this past week.  It was the father of a good friend.  I didn't know him well, but I was thinking why does it take something like this to realize how cool someone is?  You see, I read his obituary and he was a cool guy.  Anyway, I guess you should really know your friends as well as you can.  As I was sitting there, during the service, oh, by the way, it was a beautiful day, while I was sitting there, I looked around and I realized, hey, I've been here before.  And I realized I was there many years ago.  You see, the first girl I ever had a crush on and dated briefly, we had to bury there.  She was cool as well.  I lost three friends that day.  They had been drinking.  What a waste.  I often wonder whatever happened to her little sister, cause she definitely didn't want to say goodbye.  Anyway, you know what?  We all catch that bus.  Hell, I almost caught that bus several times.  We all catch that bus, but we're never quite ready when it happens, even when we think we will be ready.

On the way there, to the cemetery, we went past another old girlfriend's house.  I kind of got a chuckle, because I remembered she used to like to make out in her dad's office.  He was a full colonel, he had a nickle plated .45 on his desk as a paperweight.  It was loaded with one bullet in the chamber, safety on, ready to go.  We'd be making out and I'd have one eye on her and one eye on the gun.  And a third eye on the door!  I think she went out with me just to piss off her dad.

Anyway, my friend here has to go, so I'll see you next week everyone.  B. Nice.