I think it was Clint Eastwood that said it best, “A man has to know his limitations.”
I wanted to have a barbecue for two reasons: one was to celebrate the opening of my film 45 Degrees (link below); the other was to see if I could have a party with a large crowd. Well…let me tell you - I definitely can’t have a large party. It was good to test the waters, but a large crowd does not work for me. I think next time, I’ll have four people over, max. You see, because of my brain injury, everything hits me all at once. For example, I can’t focus in on isolated conversations. It’s all a bit overwhelming. But, if I didn’t try it, I wouldn’t know. Right?
You know, I often forget how I am. For example, the way I perceive myself from inside out is one way, but when I see footage or I hear sound of the way I am, it kind of freaks me out. I can see I’m clearly messed up. It’s all a bit of a shocker each time that I see it. But I’ve learned how to adapt.
On a positive note, I did really well in physical therapy. I walked really well. Normally I have to look down at where I place my feet. But this time I looked out - which forces you to stand up. I let my feet fall where they may. I have to trust where they land. You’d think learning how to walk would be easy, but it’s tough, man. I’m always amazed I ran across the United States of America and I can barely make it down the hallway right now. Crazy.
On another note. I have a new therapist. She asked me what would be my dream. I said, “Well, I’d love to sit up, get out of bed, walk to the kitchen, have a glass of water, walk back to bed and go to sleep. How’s that for a dream?” I’m gonna leave it at that.
Oh, one other thing, why did the scarecrow win an award…? Because he was out standing in his field.
Love and miss you,
B. Nice
https://watchlocal.hudsy.tv/programs/45-degrees?category_id=134718
Watch 45 Degrees by Julia Barrett-Mitchell