Chapter 94 - March 19, 2013

Hi everybody. Another week goes by. I'm gonna name this chapter, this blog, I'm going to name it, "My first time." Get your minds out of the gutter. I'm talking about the first time I tried to lie. I lived in Brooklyn Heights when I was little. Brooklyn Heights, New York City. Anyway, I was walking down the street and there was a one dollar bill in the middle of the sidewalk. I picked it up and immediately went to the corner store. I went to the cashier, slapped down the dollar bill and I said, "I'll have 100 pieces of gum from the penny candy counter." The guy looked at me and he said, "Does your mother know you're here?" Oh yeah, this was last week... just kidding. Anyway, I said, "I'll have 100 pieces of gum." After he said, "Does your mother know you're here?" I looked at him, there was an awkward moment of silence. I was about to lie and say, "Yes," when I grabbed the dollar bill and started running out the door. I still remember this as though it just happened. The point of the story is, the easiest thing to remember is the truth. Every time I hold my little one, I remind her that the easiest thing to remember is the truth. Always tell the truth. Everything I have told you, I remember because it's all true. I also believe all these things happened to me to get me ready and stronger for now.

This week was a pretty cool week. I got the stair chair installed and going so I can sleep upstairs. I went upstairs the other day. It was the first time in 2 years I've been on the second floor. I've been sleeping in the living room. Anyway, it felt great to go upstairs. I saw all the stuff from my house in Montauk. Man, I got a lot of stuff. The other cool thing that happened was my friend here did a video of me and my story. It's bittersweet videotaping yourself. you see how far you've come, but you also see how messed up you are. The other thing I see is how devastatingly handsome I am. Just kidding. I do have a hard time seeing myself all messed up. Remember, mentally, I'm all there, but physically, I'm pretty messed up. Anyway, it's a good bench marker. I would highly recommend that someone videotape you when you're in a condition like mine. I tend to repeat myself. Always have, so if this stuff sounds familiar, sorry. It will drive home a point.

My friend here was reading to me what I wrote. I just want to tell you about a couple things. They all happened in Brooklyn Heights when I was little. You know, back then, we all ran around like The Little Rascals. It was pretty safe back then. Anyway, I was on the Promenade by myself. It overlooked the highway. My favorite thing was to stick my head through the steel bars and spit on the cars. Real intellectual stuff, you know. Anyway, a cop was walking his beat came by, and he said, "Are you all right?" I said, "No, my head is stuck." Well, he got another police officer to get a car jack and they spread the bars and got my head out. I never told my parents about this. I think that was my IQ test right there. Another time we were on back of Montague Street where we lived and some guy tried to lure me and my friend into his apartment. I said, "My dad told me about people like you." And we immediately went to the police. Well, the police officer that was working the beat brought us back to the apartment. He made us show him where the guy was. While I stood on the sidewalk I heard a lot of noise and someone getting beat up, and next thing you know, the police officers come out with a guy who was handcuffed and they had a box full of stuff. They put him in the back of a squad car and drove off with him and the box. Another time we were at the playground and we were sitting against the wall. Well, some kid came over the wall grabbed my friend's bike. So what did we do? We reached into our back pockets where we carried sharpened popsicle sticks and we stabbed the guy in the calf as he was trying to get away with the bike. We got into a lot of trouble. I've got a lot of stories. Did I mention the neighborhood was pretty safe?

You know, sometimes I can't think of what to say to you guys. You know, I spend a lot of time thinking about the past. When I get confused about what stories to tell, my friend and I look at cartoons from the past. I used to always play practical jokes on everyone, but my crew got me back one time. They short sheeted my bed and put shrimp at the bottom of my bed. I'll include a cartoon here.

I'll have my friend here include some other cartoons. You know, in this blog I always think about the past, but in my trip coming up, I'll have a blog and I'll think about the future. You know, where I want to be. Think about where you want to be, and you'll get there.

Love you guys, talk to you next week. Oh yeah! I want to dedicate the blog to my friend. He comes over once a week to take me out to lunch. It's cool. You know you really need a distraction. Get out of the house. It's good to have friends, like my friend in front of me and my friend that takes me to lunch. I've got lots of good friends. Anyway, I thought I'd share that with you. It's really important. Otherwise you feel like you're under house arrest. Talk to you guys next week. Love, B. Nice.

Chapter 93 - March 12, 2013

I can't get lost because I don't know where I'm going. Actually, I do know where I'm going. I'm gonna get better.

Hi everybody, welcome to another week. Man, I woke up this morning and I felt terrible. So I had my mom turn on the TV. We turned on the weather channel. And you know what they said? They said, Today was National Nap Day. No, I'm serious. Today is National Nap Day. I looked outside. It's raining. It's really gray out. Overcast. There's a big low pressure system hanging over us. I would say it's nap day. You see, when you're like I am, traumatic brain injury, things really affect you, like low pressure systems. They really bring you down. Or something like sugar. That will really affect you. And coffee, oh my god. A cup of espresso feels like it will kill you. So today, what did I do? Like a young idiot, I had a double espresso with 2 spoonfuls of sugar on a low pressure system day. I feel like I'm on Mars. I should have just had a chamomile tea. So as you go through something like this, you'll learn as you go what affects you and what doesn't. I'm learning the hard way. Maybe this info will help someone out there.

It wasn't really an eventful week. I don't have much news to report. In a situation like this, no news is good news. I have been doing water therapy. It's really helpful. I've been doing that to get ready for my trip coming up. My friend here will include the link.

https://mypointofviewproject.wordpress.com/

The other thing I've been working on a lot is my machine called the Up and Go. It basically teaches you how to walk again. It's an excellent machine. I highly advise using it. The other thing I've been doing is I work with a guy doing yoga and stretching. That's been really good as well. Other than that, it's the same old routine. I do therapy from sunrise to sunset. Thank god the days are short this time of year.

You know, I spend a lot of time just sitting in my wheelchair staring at the dog or a wall. I remember things from the past to preoccupy my time. I spent a lot of my previous time traveling. I used to actually love to travel. It gave me time to do my cartoons, like the ones I've been showing you. When I was little, we took the steamship, the SS France from New York to France. It was a great trip. Back then, you had a cabin with a personal steward. It was a great way to travel. Now everything is so rushed. I miss those days where you would take a steamship. I have a feeling I'll be reliving those days. You see, under doctors' advice, I can't fly.

Man, one time, when I was flying, all of a sudden comes an announcement that we had to make an emergency landing. I guess the pilot lost his radar. He had to land somewhere clear so he could land by sight. Anyway, we landed at some airport in the desert somewhere near Phoenix. Oh, yeah, we were going from LA to New York. We got to the terminal, everyone unloaded the plane. They put us in the departure lounge. I went to the window to take some photos. The pilot was up on the nose cone talking to some technician. The technician got a ladder, opened up the nose cone and a radar dish fell out and hit the ground. I felt like booking a car back to New York. Anyway, the technician got a new radar dish, put it in with a screwdriver, hooked it up, closed the cone, locked it and off we went.

Another time, I was flying for work and an announcement came over the speaker that we had to make an emergency landing. This was going from Indonesia to Sydney. We landed in some strange airport, in the middle of the night. The flight attendants came around and shut all the shades. I was curious so I opened my shade to see what the hell was going on. The pilot was standing by an engine. The pilot looked like he was 12. He was looking at the engine, took off his hat, scratched his head, and looked up at the engine as fuel was pouring out of it. Another announcement came on and said, "Well, we have to spend the night here and order another engine from Japan."

Another time we were traveling we had to take a boat from Brisbane, Australia, to Heron Island. When we left the port it was a beautiful day, very calm. All of a sudden a storm kicked up. The swells were huge, but we were already more than half way through the trip. The captain of the boat was already committed to finishing our trip to Heron Island. Anyway, the swells got so big they were going over the top of the boat. We all got on the floor and held on to anything we could hold on to. At the back of the boat, the male model who was 6'8" was holding on to his bench going, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy." We all had puke all over us. It was real bad. Anyway, a girl that worked on the boat started handing out life jackets and throw up bags. She seemed fine. She said to me,"You know what works in a situation like this?" I wiped the vomit from my face and said, "What?" She said, "Think about sex." I said, "You gotta be kidding me!" I was covered in my own vomit. We got to the dock and the captain said over the speaker, "We're going to try and dock. If we can't make it, we'll have to go back." When I heard this, I went upstairs, threw my camera bag to my assistant and jumped off the boat. I got in a lot of trouble, but there was no way I was going back through that. You should have seen the expression of the tourists ready to board the boat going back.

OK, I'll tell you one last story before I sign off. It was pretty wild. I was flying over Laos. This was at the end of the Vietnam war. I was a little kid. Anyway, the flight attendants came around and shut all the blinds. We were at 30,000 feet, something like that. Then the captain came over the speaker, he said, "Taking photos out the window is prohibited. You're not allowed to look out the window." So, what did I do? I immediately open my window and looked outside. Remember, we're 30,000 feet, as far as the eye could see there were bomb craters. Cheerful huh? Anyway, I hate to leave you with this. To lighten it up, my friend here will leave you with some cartoons that should make you smile. Talk to you next week everybody. Love. B. Nice.

Chapter 92 - March 5, 2013

I don't know how to tell you guys this, so I'll just come out and say it. I'm actually OK. I have no brain injury at all. I just like people to feed me, bathe me, look after me, spoil me, drive me everywhere. Ha, ha, ha. If only it were like that. Just the other day I went out for a pedicure and a manicure, and I realized how messed up I am. But, you know, I remember what I was like a few years ago. I couldn't even breathe on my own, so I guess you gotta remember where you were. Think of the positive things.

Oh Yeah! Hi everybody, welcome to another week in Paradise. I'm going to name this blog "London Calling." I'm going to call this blog "London Calling," because, well, it was really weird. I was looking at the cartoons from the previous blog and my phone rang. It was my agent in London. I haven't heard from this guy in four years. It was so bizarre. Great to hear from him. He sounded great. But how strange is that? I'm looking at cartoons of London and London calls. I guess you just gotta put ideas out there and things will happen. You know that's kind of how I live my life now. My friend here remarked that's how I've always lived my life. I guess it's true. This blog that I'm doing is kind like looking back at the past. But my up and coming trip will have a blog on it and it will be concentrated on looking at the future, where I want to be, where I'm going. That sort of thing.

https://mypointofviewproject.wordpress.com/

It's good to have an idea of where you'll end up. Then everything becomes automatic. You eventually get to where you want to be.

This month was Traumatic Brain Injury month. The month of March. I don't know who thinks this shit up but good on them. It's good more people are aware of Traumatic Brain Injury You know, there's going to be a lot of people with TBI what with the smart phones and driving and the soldiers coming back from the wars. It's going to be on the increase. Watch you'll see. I'm going to pull out my soapbox and megaphone again. This is going to be a public service announcement, but I'll tell you this, it's a little unnerving to have breakfast with a young person that's missing part of her head. I used to have breakfast with this one girl who was all messed up from a single text message she was sending while driving.

I'm gonna tell a couple of fashion confession stories. Right now I'm remembering the past to try and forget how I feel right now. Once again, I feel like shit, but here's a couple of fashion confessions.

I was on the west coast doing a commercial fashion shoot. This was a time before cell phones. I guess that kind of dates me. Anyway, I was inside the location van when I heard the art director say, let's reshoot just 6A, 7A and AB. I thought to myself, Holy Shit! are they crazy? I jumped in my car and told my assistant to throw everything in and drove off before they could find me. Oh, yeah, did I mention, this was at the end of the day, when they said we were finished. Anyway, I got the hell out of there. Funny, I never worked for them again.

Another confession I have to make is, well, it could have been kind of serious. I was doing a photographic shoot around my house in North Bondi, Sydney, Australia. I was shooting with a Japanese client. They wanted me to reshoot like 4 outfits. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't say no. I went up to my apartment to tell my agent I'd be working longer. Well, I looked out the window and there was a couple of older guys, like 28 and they were playing with water pistols that looked like real weapons. they must have had vodka in the water pistols. Anyway, in my infinite wisdom,  I called the police. I told them there were some guys with handguns right next door to me. Well I think the whole police force in Sydney showed up. They shut our shoot down. What a shame. Anyway, I didn't have to do those extra shots after all. Oh yeah, you should have seen the look on the guys faces, you know the guys that had the squirt guns. It was pretty funny. Dangerous but funny.

I'll talk a little about TBI. You know, I always joke around about my condition, but it really sucks. I think right now reality really sets in. I  had a great life in Montauk, NY. My houses I had were basically my investment in the future. But since my brain injury, everything is gone. And oh my god! The worst part of it all is I'm living with my parents. I'm 50 years old and I had to ask my parents if I could move in. I joke around all the time, but you know what, you have to joke around. Otherwise, you go crazy.

OK, I'm gonna lighten it up a little. Sorry, I was getting kind of heavy there. Anyway, you know, I go to the wellness center for strength building and to stay healthy. It's in the middle of the day, so most of the other people, they're like 70 or so. Anyway, I heard these two women talking, one older woman said to the other, "How come married women are heavier than unmarried women?" The other woman said, "I don't know. Why are they heavier?" And the other women said, "An unmarried woman comes home at the end of the day, she has a look in the fridge, has a snack and goes to bed. A married woman comes home, has a look at what's in bed, goes to the fridge and eats and eats and eats."

Talk to you guys next week. Love, B. Nice

P.S. I read the blog, or I should say, my friend read it to me, and I came down kind of heavy on my parents. Hell, they took me in, saved my life. Otherwise, I'd be in a nursing home. I just wanted to say, "Thank you."

Chapter 91 - February 26, 2013

February 26?! Man, time goes by so fast when you're having fun. I'm being a little sarcastic. I'm gonna dedicate this week's blog to my sister and her kids. Man, they really help me out through the rough stuff. It's fun to see them. They bring light to the situation I'm in.

Hi everybody, another week goes by. It's been a pretty full week. You know, I'm doing this blog because I've had a pretty full life. When it was time to possibly check out, I wasn't so freaked out. I'm doing this blog to basically help someone. There might be some people that this will help. I've gone through a lot of stuff and it might help them. Just the other day, a girl, a young girl emailed me and asked for some advice. I was happy to help out as much as I could. I'm not a doctor or in the medical field, but I gave her some advice of things I went through. Pretty cool. It made me realize it's good to meet people that have gone through something similar.

The other cool thing that happened this week was I got a Stair Chair. It's basically a chair that will bring me up the stairs to the 2nd floor where my bedroom is. I no longer have to camp out in the living room. I've been sleeping in the living room for about 2 years now.

Other than that, those two things, I've just been doing therapy sunrise to sunset. I woke up today, my dad said to me, he said, "What's the word for today?" I looked at him and said, "I'm going back to bed." Just kidding. Although I really felt like it because today I really feel like hell. You know, you've got to work through it even though you feel like shit. You've got to work through it. Remember, it's all about attitude. I'd like to benchmark where I am because it's good to look back to where I was. These benchmarks are basically for the future. You know, right now, my head is really tight, and my throat is really tight. I feel like I'm wearing a motorcycle helmet. My hands are numb. My feet are numb. It's difficult to talk. Still can't walk. I'm going to water therapy where I can walk in the pool. I'm also learning how to go up some stairs. I'm getting ready for my trip. I've been practicing driving too. Just kidding. So basically, everything is pretty much status quo. Enough of the Traumatic Brain Injury stuff. Let's tell a few stories. You know, it's always good to remember the past so you can forget about the present. Here's a few stories, some things I went through in my life.

Oh, yeah, I forgot to name this blog. It's going to be called, "Painting, Supervised Cooking, Squirrels, and The Greatest Bar on Earth." 

Every day I paint with my father. I do a watercolor of a heart for my daughter, a star and a circle. It's actually fun and good therapy. And then I do some cooking with my mother. I love cooking. I can't actually cook, but I watch her and tell her what to do. You know, like a real chef, like, "Put that over there, right now!" It's fun to tell your mother what to do. The whole time the painting and cooking is going on, I look at the squirrels on the bird feeder spin around and around trying to get at the birdseed. Very entertaining.

The greatest bar was a bar I used to go to all the time. That was the name of the bar, "The Greatest Bar On Earth." It was at the top of the World Trade Center, right next to a restaurant called "Windows on the World." It was a great bar. What a view. I remember standing at the windows thinking, man, I'm glad they didn't actually knock these things down in '93. It would have been a disaster. Little did I know what was to come! Actually, I used to go up there all the time with my ex wife. The bar is kind of symbolic I guess. It was fun while it lasted, until it all came crashing down, like my marriage. My friend said, "Very dramatic." Remember, I'm just a big girl crying at butterflies and kittens.

I'm going to make a fashion photographer's confession. Remember, I was a fashion photographer. I had one client I used to work for all the time. Well, I shot a job for them in Australia, and I did what we call, "Extra long clip test." The lab basically checks five frames before they process the film. It all looked good to me so I said, "Write N on everything, normal." Well, the guy in front of me ran everything plus 2. (That means 2 stops.) Well, if you've ever taken an N and turned it sideways it looks like a 2. So they basically ran my film like his. 2 stops over. In other words, they really fucked up my film. It all came back very light. I mean real light. That was the whole job. I talked to the art director after he freaked out, I said, "Listen, we got 5 good frames, and they ran the whole job on those 5 frames." And to top it off, of all the images, the client liked the high key images and used them for advertising. I got lucky on that one. So you see, out of a bad situation, good can come. You just have to look a little harder.

Here's another random story. I once had a summer job. I had to rent out boats. Well, a bunch of girl scouts showed up at my boat rental and they wanted to take out a few boats. They must have been like, I don't know, 14 or so. Anyway, I got them some boats and sent them on their way. The day went on and you know, I basically forgot they were out there on the lake. I forgot until I heard some distant screams. I heard all the girl scouts screaming and rowing back to the boat shed as fast as they could. They got to the boat dock and jumped out of the boat like a cat in water. They all started jumping up and down, shaking their hands, they were freaking out.  I thought, what the hell's going on. Well, I guess they found Ivan, the guy that drowned earlier. One of the girls put her oar in the water to row and it hit the body. Needless to say, they were freaked out. The police were thankful they found him though. People used to die like flies where I was working. It wasn't my fault. I just rented the boats. A lot of people would drink and swim off the boats. The lake was very dangerous. It was spring fed with cold water. And the days would get very hot. Oh, yeah, this one time, I sent 2 guys and a girl out. I remember because I had to throw in some extra life jackets. Well, a guy came back with the girl. One guy was missing. The couple, they were in shock. They kind of sat on a log. They just sat there. I said, "What's wrong?" The woman said to me, "My husband, he's dead." Apparently, there was a love triangle going on. The two guys got in a fight. One guy clocked the other guy over the head with an oar and he sank straight to the bottom. Nice job. The police came and took the couple away. 

Let's lighten it up. I have some great assistant stories. I could do a whole chapter on photo assistants, but I'll just tell you a couple. Well, one time, I had an assistant. He was a little homophobic. Anyway, all the guys in the crew had to share a room while we were waiting for a connecting flight. We were in Mexico. It was an editorial job. Not much money. Anyway, we had to all share a room. I said to the photo assistant, "Just share a bed with the hair dresser." He said, "No way man. The hair dresser likes guys." I said, "What do you think, he's going to assault you or something?" The photo assistant would have nothing to do with it, so to prove a point, he slept on the coffee table. Have you ever seen someone try and sleep on a coffee table. Very entertaining. Anyway, the photo assistant has changed his ways, but I thought it was amusing at the time.

Another photo assistant I had didn't like the room he was assigned to. This was in Mexico, by the way. He didn't like his room so what did he do? He talked to the production manager and got himself a house just down the street. Judd Law, the actor, had just been there. So they were cleaning up the house. I didn't know about all this. I went for a walk down the beach with the client and I look over to see my assistant on the sun deck with a bottle of chilled wine listening to music.  My client said, How come I'm not staying in a place like that? The stories go on and on. I've got so many more but I won't go into it.

Anyway, enough of the random stories. I'm going to sign off. My friend here will once again put my link in for my next project and she will include some cartoons I did. They're from the past. I used to keep my journals in cartoon form. I hope you enjoy them. This is B. Nice signing off. Love you guys. Talk to you next week. 

https://mypointofviewproject.wordpress.com/

Chapter 90 - February 19, 2013

I'd like to dedicate this blog to my assistants. One in particular helped save my life the day I had my injury, brain bleed.

Hi everybody. You know, I always tell these stories because I've laid on my back for about 4 years now. It's good to remember things to get you through the tough stuff. I'm going to name this week's blog, "Promises, Cherrypickers and the Authorities."

I'll tell a few random stories to begin.

There's a few things I really can't tell you. One story I won't tell because I made a promise not to tell. I will tell it involves warriors and a war party hunting me. Have you ever been hunted? It's not a comfortable feeling.

There's a couple of stories I can tell. The next story involves a cherry picker. I was in the desert. It never rains in the desert right? Well, not when I went there. It was like the first time in ten years that it rained where I was. I was on a commercial photographic shoot. I was supposed to photograph a girl from above. I was going to be on a cherry picker. It was a big production. A commercial job. Well, it was raining and the client was freaking out. He started to say, "What are we going to do?" I said, "Just wait a minute." I went back to my room and closed the door. I said, "Holy shit, what am I going to do?" I started freaking out. I said, "Calm down." I turned on the TV. I turned on the weather channel. I saw it was sunny in Puerto Rico. I said, "Ah Ha! Let's all go to Puerto Rico!" I went out and I confidently said to the art director, the client, I said, "We're all going to Puerto Rico." He calmed down. He said, "OK good idea." I didn't know what the hell I was doing. Well, we got on the plane early that morning, and we were shooting by the afternoon. On the way to the beach, I saw some house painters using a cherry picker. I gave my assistant $100 cash. I said, see if they would come over for about 2 hours and hang out with the cherry picker. They showed up and the shoot went great, thank God. I had a good margarita that night.

Well, the next story, I really can't tell because I don't want the authorities knocking on my door. No one got hurt, it's just that, well, I can't tell you.

One more story I can't tell you because I don't kiss and tell. Not to anybody. That's it. 

I'm going to talk a little bit about Traumatic Brain Injury. You know, when you're like this and you have a Traumatic Brain Injury, you can't let the rest of your life go by. Just this morning I went to the dermatologist. I had to get my body checked. I wouldn't be surprised if I survived a brain injury only to be taken by a bad mole. Anyway, the checkup went really good and I'm fine. The point is, keep everything up: the dentist, other doctors, etc.  My friend here pointed out, I probably really couldn't go before. And it's true. It was a lot of effort to go right now. Imagine a few months ago. No way I could have gone. So that right there is progress. I keep going on and on how I feel like I'm not getting better, but little things like that are baby steps. It's easy to become frustrated cause you're living your injury day to day, but people, they come by every once in a while, remark how I'm making progress. It's another good reason to have visitors stop by.

When you're in a condition like this, it's really good to have a project or keep busy. The other day we joined AAA and they sent me a bunch of maps and books. I can't really see but I have the stuff read to me. It's basically a bunch of stuff to get me ready for the big trip coming up. I'm going to go see my daughter and go out west. It should be a fun project. I'm also doing it to show people, even if you have a brain injury, you can still stand up to challenges. I guess before I had challenges like records for running, surfing big waves and dangerous stuff. This will kind of be the same thing but in a different light. I mean, hell, it's just a challenge to sit up. That reminds me, I want to tell you guys something I just found out. You know, when you get up from sleeping, it can be real difficult. You know how you feel a little groggy when you wake up from a nap, well, holy shit, this is crazy feeling like I do when I wake up. It's tough to wake up. So don't be surprised if you feel like hell when you wake up and you're like I am. Nothing surprises me anymore. It's all uncharted territory. Every day I feel different. Hell, a bunch of big elephants could walk by, I wouldn't even flinch. So basically, don't be surprised by new things.

Anyway, that's about it for this week. Not much else to really tell. If you have a brain injury, keep working hard. I'm going to have my friend here link my trip I'm planning for and some cartoons I did back in the day. I hope I can get back to doing cartoons. I miss it almost as much as I miss playing the guitar. Talk to you next week. Love, B. Nice.

https://mypointofviewproject.wordpress.com/