Chapter 54 - June 13, 2012

Hi everybody, sometimes we're our own worst critic.  I keep hearing over and over and over again Brian don't be so hard on yourself. I have to be patient. Last week I saw my new neurologist that specializes in seizure.  I've picked a neurologist that's closers to home. The best news I got out of the meeting was she said I could drink regular coffee and have chocolate now and then.  Other than that, it was pretty much the same thing.  She wants me to do a blood test to check my medicine levels.  She didn't change anything.  If anything, I'm on the minimum
amount of anti seizure medicine.  

I wanted to include an email I got from a friend.  He's a cinematographer who went with me to Greenland.  Pace Editions sponsored a father son trip to Greenland. My father and I did the trip together.  He painted the icebergs and I photographed them. It was a great thing to do. We had a show of the work after we came back.  I'm going to include the special video portrait of what was shot there.
First,  Here's his email:
Brian, I printed out your entire blog and read it all at once yesterday, it was a really amazing experience.  Various themes stand out more clearly when you read that many posts all together, such as Water, Patience, Calmness.  

It made me remember some things from Greenland through that prism:

Just the blue, the neon blue of those icebergs on that first overcast afternoon.  Floating, drifting along and all we had to do was breath the air and paint and photograph and film.  It was so quiet and calm, awe inspiring and peaceful like I'd never felt before.  I think of that whenever I need a moment of clarity.

The water dripping off the melting ice, running down the side of a giant berg as we held out a flask to catch it and brew up some coffee.  I mean, come on, Iceberg Coffee?!  Unbelievable.  

Stopping randomly because Don just had to paint the view of Ilulissat and you telling me that this is how it always was, even when you were growing up.  You'd travel around Europe and as an antsy little kid you would have to sit there patiently while he whipped out his watercolor sketch book and threw down another masterpiece of whatever happened to strike his fancy.  

I loved seeing the cartoon you posted, it reminded me of the ones you did during that trip, I have such a vivid memory of them even though I haven't seen them since.  If you could post them someday that would make me the happiest kid in the city. 

Best Adam Hall
 
The email summarizes the trip. It makes me realize how much fun I had with my father. It all went by so quick. 

I'm going to make this a short one, but tell a quick story. I'm going to go off on a tangent here.

I was living in Australia off Manly beach. I had a big dinner party. I got really drunk (how unusual) anyway I promised all my friends I would give a big Thanksgiving dinner. When I woke up the next morning (with a big hangover) my wife at the time reminded me I promised to cook a big Thanksgiving dinner.

Well, I tried to keep to my promise and I did the Thanksgiving dinner.  My first step was to get a big turkey. Not easy to do in Australia. Never even thought about it. I couldn't find one anywhere. A friend finally suggested I call the American Embassy for advice.  They said "No way mate. We over ordered some turkeys. You can have one of ours. Go ahead and pick it up at the butcher." So I did. I went to their butcher and picked up the turkey.  It was huge, I asked the guy, "Are you sure that's not an emu?" I'd never seen such a big bird in my life. It hardly fit in my car. Then I got home and looked at my oven, and then at the bird, and then the oven.  I thought it's never going to fit. I took out almost all of the racks, put the bird in.  The door wouldn't close, so I got the tinfoil and bridged the gap.  It took 2 rolls of big tinfoil to bridge the gap.  The door was more than half open.  Well I cooked that bird for about 14 hours. I think we drank a case of wine waiting for it to be done.  By 3 am the bird was finished.  We were too.  We could have eaten the couch and it would have tasted fantastic.  We were ripped but we had a great Thanksgiving.  By the way, the bird tasted real good, but I'm pretty sure it was an emu. 
 
I was awoken by a noise about 4:30 am.  There was something in the trash trying to get the turkey carcass I think.  I was inches from the window looking down trying to see what was in the garbage.  I had a funny feeling.  I looked up and about 2 inches from my face was another face. It was looking at me. It had its hands on the window it scared the hell out of me.  I screamed raised my hands up, it did the same thing. It screamed and raised its hands. It fell out of the tree, I fell on my bed.  It turned out to be a tree kangaroo.  It wasn't hurt. It helped its friend grab something from the trash and ran into the woods. I checked my shorts.
 
Please watch the video by Michelle Icahn and let me know what you think.  Love, B. Nice
 

Chapter 53 - June 7, 2012

I feel I have to get this off my chest. Some things happen on photo shoots that I feel badly about.  Okay, here is some of my dirty laundry.
 
A.  One time I booked a famous model for a photo shoot.  She needed some swimwear shots for her book.  I said no problem I'll book you on my next swimwear shoot.  I never told her where it was.  It was in Palau - half way around the world.  It took two days to get there and six airplanes.  That's the least I of what I did back then.  Anyway, I went to pick her up at the hotel and she answered her door, she said to me "Where the fuck am I?" It was a good shoot anyhow, but she forgot to tell me she doesn't swim...
 
B.  We put a girl on an iceberg...the iceberg could have flipped.  However, we backed away and got the shot.
 
C.  I was in Paris, I met my friend for a drink in a famous hotel.  Then my wife at that time showed up and we had more drinks.  The bill got pretty high.  When the waiter came over, I asked for the bill.  He gave me the bill, it was out of sight and I was without my key at the time. The waiter said would you like me to charge it to.......(a well known magazine)?  Of course, I said, charge it to them.  I still feel a little guilty.
 

D.  I booked a helicopter.  We were supposed to go home by boat.  We were on Heron Island off Australia.  The editor came running out as I was about to take off.  She said, "Who's paying for this?" I screamed, "You are!" and I shut the door and took off.

Chapter 52 - June 6, 2012

Boy I sure could use those temple girls right now. You see you get a little depressed sometimes. Peaks and valleys. I'll get out of this funk soon, but sometimes you get a little sad. It's times like this you really need your family and friends around.
Last weekend my little one came to visit me. That was a great weekend. This weekend, some of my track friends from the past will come and visit. I'm really looking forward to it. I remember those times and the always make me really happy.  "B. Nice, you're a head case."  That's what my coach used to say. I was in the NCAA championships in Chicago.
It was the men's 1500 meter race. I ran a really good time to get there. As I was walking to the startling line my heart was in my throat. I was so nervous. We all lined up, the gun went off, and being the young idiot I was, I took the lead (I usually ran from the back). I ran 2 and 1/2 laps leading the race. I was doing good. Over the loud speaker I could hear them say "It's Brian Nice taking the lead in the 1500 meter race."  I was pumped up. Then all of a sudden every single bear known to mankind jumped on my back.  That was it.  I shot load
(locker room talk for "I used up all my energy").  My whole body seized up and when it happened, they all started passing me one by one.  Then I heard over the loud speaker "It's Brian Nice coming in last in the men's 1500 meter."  The only words I heard after the announcement were from my coach at the finish line. He just looked at me and shook his head and said, "B. Nice, you're a head case."  Maybe he was right. Yeah, he was right.
Anyway, I get sad and I think of times like that, times that get my mind off of what I'm going through.
I remember when I was at the hospital, there was an old man who used to just sit there and look out the window. He was there all the time. He would always talk in these native languages and it was beautiful.  Almost like poetry. I finally asked him what he was saying. It turns out, he was a sugar king farmer from South America.  He was praying in his native language.  And every once in a while he would speak in English and say words like, "From the valley of my heart," and "Your long blond hair."  "I like to watch you play in the long grass," and once in a while he'd say, "My son."  It was funny. He always thought I was his son and he just wanted to hold hands. So I would hold his hand and look out the window with him. Hey, it's better than tv.
But like I said, I'm home now. This is the third time I've had to adjust from the hospital to home living. It s not easy. You definitely need to have an aid. I keep doing my therapy and I go to out patient therapy every day.
Here is an example of what I used to draw.
  
That's all for now. I'll talk to you guys next week.
Love, B Nice

P.S.  Hey Chris!  It was funny when Julie was saying you contacted.  I had a dream about you me and Rob in a 4 wheel drive in a sand pit.  We couldn't get out. Weird, but kind of a metaphor for how I feel right now, except, I don't drink anymore.  Not right now at least.

P.P.S.  This is probably kind of morbid and not a great way to end a blog but I'm gonna do
it anyway.  You see, out of the many hospitals I went to, I saw a lot of people die and a lot
of them we're younger than me.  I'd be chatting with them one night and the next morning
they'd be dead.  It got me thinking, is that it?  Time goes by so fast.  Life is so short. Make sure you do what you love to do.  See ya next week. B. Nice

Chapter 51 - May 29, 2012

Hi Everybody!  I'd like to give you a quick example of the cartoons I used to do.  I'll explain more later, but here's a good introduction.

That was then.  Now this is my last night at the hospital.  It's been a very entertaining night.  I woke up to a pretty girl asking me, "Is it was ok if I tap dance?"  It was my room mate's wife.  She was a Broadway dancer and she was practicing for her performance.  Was I hallucinating again?  Very entertaining.  Just when I thought things were getting weird, two state troopers showed up at my bedside.  They started askimg me questions.  Were the drugs kicking in?  That was very very entertaining.  It turns out they were questioning me because my roommate's ipad had gone missing.  I said.  You're welcome to search my room, but listen, guys, there's a drug addict down the hall.  Let's put one and one together.  We got a drug addict and we have stolen property.  They spent a few hours searching the floor.  They finally found the ipad conveniently it was left in a communal area.  That was entertaining.  And when things didn't get bizarre enough, the drug addict showed up in my room and started giving me a hard time.  Never a dull moment, I'll tell you.  I often forget this is a state hospital.  It's like a New York City bus.  You have a full spectrum of people, from drug addicts to federal judges.  The cool thing is, the staff and the people who work there are really cool.  They treat everyone the same.  You never know who you're sitting next to.  I just want everyone to know that the people that work there at that state hospital, Helen Hayes, they are great.  I can't believe the patience they have.  Anyway, I went off on a tangent there.  I'm just impressed by the staff.

I'm home now.  They figured out the right cocktail of drugs to prevent seizures and do not get me wasted.  Everyone is different.  It just takes time to find the right combination.  I am going to go see a specialist though.  It's important to have a second opinion.

Let's tell a story.  It's about a place I used to shoot at called Palau.  It's halfway between Guam and the Philippines.  A beautiful group of islands.  If you're a diver, or a snorkeler, I highly recommend this place.  But check on the dates that it would be safe to go there.  The tides can be really dangerous.  Anyway, I have a cool wood carving from Palau.  The way I got the wood carving is an interesting story.  I was in my hotel talking to my guide and I said to him, "What's cool and well known from this group of islands?"  He said, "Oh, the story board wood carvings are really popular."  They're basically a piece of wood that's carved they pass around the campfire.  An Elder would tell the story that's on the wood carving.  It's basically a story board.  Anyway, the only place you can buy one is in prison.  So I gave the guy some cash and he took me to prison.  The make up artist overheard me and said, I want to come too.  I said, all right. No problem.  So we all went off to the prison. When we got there, our guide paid off one of the prison guards and we went inside.  There was a group of old guys carving some storyboards in a small square courtyard.  I picked one out I really liked and bought it from the elder.  Then, I look over and the hair and make up artist is scorinig some weed.  I was like, "What on earth are you doing? You're buying weed in prison."  She said, "Sure, they're cool with it."  I thought, my God, I'm never going to leave.  They're just going to keep me here.  But she bought a little weed and we quickly left.  Was all a bit bizarre, but I still have the wood carving.  The story of how I got it is more interesting than the story carved into the wood.  Oh, yeah, when I went through Australia customs, they asked if I had any wood carvings.  I left that box blank.  The customs agent said to me, "Nothing to declare Mate?" I said, "Nope." He said, "All right go on then."  Then he said, "Hold on Mate, you forgot to fill in this box. Do you have any wood carvings?"  I said, "Nope."  He said, "All right then, open everything up."  I said, oh shit.  So, of course the first case I opened had the wood carving in there.  So he pulled it out and he yelled at me, "What's this Mate?"  So I looked at him, I looked at the wood, I looked back at him and said, "That? That's art."  He said, "That's a wood carving." I said, no that's art.  We argued back and forth.  They finally x-ray'd it and gave it back to me.  They were actually pretty cool.  It was a great trip.  I have lots of other stories from that trip, but not enough time.  The other stories involve a big shark, deadly tides, multibillionaire's yacht, a Japanese Zero in the water, a Japanese airbase from world war 2. Lots of stories, but I'll tell those later.  I'll just tell you one other story, real quick.  I don't know why I feel compelled to tell you, but it came across my mind.

I was in India.  I was very young and with my parents.  We went to a fortress outside of New Delhi.  It was very windy.  I got lost and separated from my parents.  It was kind of scary for a young boy.  Anyway, I kept hearing little bells.  Bells.  And I would look up and through the dust and the windy red soil I'd see a bunch of temple girls giggling and laughing.  They were dressed in bright silk robes.  Very colorful.  They were waving me on showing me which way to go.  I followed them for about 15 minutes.  They kept appearing and disappearing around each corner.  They finally lead me to my parents.  It was pretty cool.  I told my mom, we looked around but we didn't see any temple girls.  I had forgotten about that event until recently.  I was photographing an indian princess.  She knew of the fortress which I was speaking about.  She said to me there's no temple girls there.  And no one dresses like that, at least they don't now. She said, oh, you probably saw some ghosts.  It kind of freaked me out.  Anyway, whatever it was, or whoever it was, it did lead me to my parents.  It was a pretty cool adventure.

Just another story I would think about when I was lying on my back.  I'm pretty tired, so I'm going to sign off.  I'll talk to you guys next week.  Love, B. Nice

Chapter 50 - May 23, 2012

Hi everybody. I'm still here at the hospital. What a drag. I'm ready to get out of here. It's definitely different from the first time I was here. It seems budgets cuts have affected everybody and everything here. But that's a whole other story. For now, I'll talk about fun things like the drugs they are giving me. Man! Some people pay a lot of money to feel like this. I'm wasted. But it must be easier for them to deal with a drooling piece of meat. I've got to lower the stuff down but still keep the drugs going to stop the seizures. It would have been great to take this stuff in the 80's on a Saturday night but right now it's a bit much. I'm kind of tired of getting freaked out by my own hand every night. Let's talk about a time that was a bit more carefree and fun. I was on the island of Capri off the coast of Italy many years ago. I was on a photoshoot for an Italian fashion magazine. I arrived to a note that said, "Brian, the model you wanted is not going to come. We have to find someone new. Wait for us there." I waited for 5 days. Not a bad way to spend 5 days. I was in Capri. I had a motorcycle and a lot of good food. They finally showed up 5 days later. They didn't say anything bit lets start shooting. It was a fun shoot. Anyway, it's times like that I think of when I'm stuck here. I have lots to tell, but I'm really tired. It's a bit of an effort to do this. But I'm not doing it, my friend is. Anyway, I'll talk to you next week. PS: hey Rick and Cheryl, and any other crew members (you know who you are), thanks for the ipad. I listen to music every night. I'll talk to you all soon. Love, B. Nice PSS: Thanks everyone for your positive support. I can't get back to you all, but I appreciate it.