August 7, 2019

Hi everybody. Welcome to my blog where I talk about the present.

So, imagine this, imagine a buffalo, a papa buffalo saying goodbye to his baby boy as he walks away. What does the papa buffalo say to the baby? Bye son. You see, I’ve become my father. It’s crazy! I was in the studio (which has become mine) working on his table, wearing his clothes, painting with his brushes, listening to his music. I thought, “Oh my God! I’ve become my father.” What a nice act to follow. I just wish I had his talent. He was a great artist. The other day I went out to shoot for the first time in a long time. My friend here helped me. It felt great to get out and do some creative work. I know the images will be great. I stockpile all my film and then process it all at once a few months later. It’s fun getting it back. It feels like Christmas.

I hired a physical therapist for one hour a week. A private deal. He’s helping me stand and it’s working. The guy knew me from my days at Helen Hayes. He said my strength is there. I just have to work on my core strength. See, the core of the body will keep you stable if it’s strong. I took off my lateral supports from my wheelchair back. It’s like doing a sit up all day. It’s tiring, but builds your core. I sit up a little straighter and I feel my core working.

There’s not much else to report on. I do notice I get depressed, but man, who wouldn’t be in my situation. Plus, on top of it all, I gave up caffeinated coffee. It’s cool. Actually, I have less auras. Every Tuesday and Thursday I try to walk with the help of a special walker. It feels great to walk. Man, I get tired though, just walking 100 feet is like running a marathon. My last seizure really did a number on me. I can’t remember if I told you, but I was DOA at the hospital. They brought me back, but I guess it took a lot out of me. I kept saying to my friend here, “If they take me away, come and get me!” I kept thinking they were gonna send me to Bellevue Hospital. The seizure really messed with my mind, not to mention the drugs they had me on. I was extremely paranoid.

One last thing I’ll share with you before I go. The other day I made an appointment to have my toenails cut, and when I arrived there, (after a big production in getting there), they said they had no appointment for me. While I was right in the middle of chewing out the receptionist, my health assistant came up and said to her, “Can I pray for your foot?” Well, I rolled my one eye that’s good, and rolled away. My friend here said it did break the ice, and it did. The guy is a great guy. A great help.

Anyway, this is B. Nice signing off.

Love, B. Nice

July 25, 2019

Hi everybody. Welcome to my blog where I talk about the present.

I’ll call this blog Depression 102. I already talked about Depression 101 many many months ago.

When you have a traumatic brain injury, you’re gonna have times when you’re really low. Rock bottom. That’s what’s happening to me right now. I think everything has caught up to me. I fill my time with more and more therapy, but it seems to just pre-occupy my mind with the depression on the back burner, so to speak. What put the cherry on the cake was that I was at therapy and my therapist made a funny face and kind of walked away. I was thinking, “What was that all about?” And then I realized, I stank. Man, did I need a shower. That was the trigger. That just set me off. Kind of the last straw of the day.

But it’s cool. My friend here came over. My neighbor brought over some vegetables from his garden. The sun is out. So it’s a nice day. Oh yeah, and I forgot to mention, my dog is under my wheelchair, and he’s just had a bath. What could get better than that, right?

On another note: I’m going off on a tangent here, but you know what freaks me out? My second grade teacher lives right next door to me. Am I paranoid or what?

Anyway, I hope you guys have a good day. This is B. Nice signing off.

Love, B. Nice

July 17, 2019

Hi you guys. Welcome to the blog where I talk about the present.

So, imagine this, imagine someone cuts the inside of your lip with a razor, then someone hammers your kneecap with a hammer, and then someone cuts your bicep muscle to the bone. Do I have your attention now? Did that evoke an emotion? Well, that’s where I am right now. My emotion is sadness and nausea. You see, right now, at this moment, I was supposed to be picking up my daughter at the airport, and for whatever reason, she won’t be here this week. It’s sad, but you know what, there’s a reason for everything. I’ll get a chance to fix up her room and move into my Dad’s old room. It’ll be a clean start for me and her. I won’t see her until November, for Thanksgiving. I hope she recognizes me.

Life is crazy. You know, sometimes you get barrier after barrier. But you just gotta suck it up and move on. It gets frustrating sometimes. But you just gotta figure out how to overcome obstacles. For example, I used to carry a camera around with me all the time. Whenever I’d see something I wanted to photograph, I’d just do it. Now I can’t. I just imagine what the shot would look like. Who needs a camera when you’ve got an imagination? Right?

Hey, I got a new powerchair today! The government supplied me with a new chair. It’s pretty cool. It’s really high tech. It’s got a spot for headlights, blinkers, back up lights, a stripper pole (just kidding about the pole). It is pretty amazing. All supplied by the government. There are your tax dollars hard at work. Pretty cool though. I’m happy with it. I wonder if I could get a cup holder for it.

On another note, I got a physical therapist to come in to help me learn how to stand up. He knew me from the days from my Helen Hayes Hospital visits. I’m looking forward to it. So now I have 3 days of therapy a week. It’s a lot of work, but it’s worth it.

I’m not gonna blog much longer, because, well, frankly, I don’t have much else to tell you right now. I’m proud of my sister because she broke her foot, but she’s still upstairs telling people what to do from a chair. She reminds me of my Mom.

This is B. Nice signing off. Talk to you guys soon. Love ya.

B. Nice

May 26, 2019

Hi you guys. Welcome to the blog where I talk about the present.

Know what I realize, after ten years? People in wheelchairs really suffer when they have OCD. I’m a little OCD and if something like a picture is crooked, or something is out of place, it drives me crazy because I can’t fix it. I can, in fact, make things worse. Just a philosophical observation.

Over all, things have been pretty good. I still keep pushing myself. My nephew graduated the other day, and I sat in the sun for two hours. It was a beautiful day, thank god. Nice breeze. Luckily I had a hat. My nephew looked so grown up at graduation. It was cool to see him close another chapter in life.

After ten years of being like this, you start to wonder if all this work is gonna pay off. You just have to keep plugging away. I guess it’s natural to have some self doubt. It’s still kind of a drag to see people walking around. But I’ll get there. I’ll probably get there then die. One good thing is, I’ve started dealing with everyday life things in a better way. In other words, I take control of my own things, like bills, stuff like that. Might seem small, but it makes a big deal solving problems on your own. On thing I highly recommend, you should get yourself a hobby or do something that you love. And I’m not talking about watching porn. I’m talking about something you love. Like I love photography and I love art. It’s what keeps me going. Sometimes I wallow in self pity because, you know, I have no one. I have my dog. That’s about it. And my friends. But that actually could be a good thing. I was about to say something, but my friend said, “Don’t go there.” I’ll just end it at that.

Man, it’s hot today, and it really affects me. Even if I’m in AC. Strange, right? Anyway, Have a good day. Miss you guys.

Love, B. Nice

May 16, 2019

Hi everybody. OK, so I’m sitting here with my friend, right next to a specific spot. It’s outside. We’re under an umbrella, and we’re on the pavement. A few days ago I was at the same spot, but my back wheels were on the pavement, and my front wheels were on the lawn. My dog’s toy was on the lawn. I reached over to pick it up and my chair started to tip forward. So I sat up, but the momentum was still going, and I couldn’t raise my hand fast enough. In other words, the ground came up to my head, real quick. Yes, I did a face plant right onto the lawn. Luckily it wasn’t on pavement. I had a nice gash on my forehead. The worst part of it all was, when I opened my eyes there was a huge dog turd that I just missed. Man, if I’d hit it, that would have been nasty. Well, just a regular day in the world of a brain injury.

I just want to thank my friend here, cause she did an amazing job singing at my dad’s service. She was like an instrument. It was cool. Anyway, that’s it for now. It’s a beautiful day today. I’m lucky.

This is B. Nice signing off.

Love, B. NIce