Stages - November 26, 2013

Hi everybody! Welcome to another week. I'm gonna call this blog "Stages." You know, I've gone through a lot of stages during this event. For example, my first stage, it was a pity party. I felt sorry for myself. My next stage was anger. And then, denial. You get it. Right now I'm in the stage where I don't give a shit. I'll give you an example. I was at a local pizza parlour with my family. Three mothers walked in with their children. The mothers sat down and put their children in a booth. Well, the kids were like wild animals. I felt like I should throw them some red meat. They were out of control. Mind you, I'm in my wheelchair. When the women left, I said to one woman, "Excuse me." And then she leaned over and talked to me like I'm hearing impaired. She said, "Yes?" I said, "You win the prize." And she said, "What?" and I said, "You win the prize." She said, I don't understand." "Yeah, you win the prize of having the most unruly children I've ever seen. Your kids are like wild animals." Another time, I was at a restaurant and they wouldn't seat me so I started singing. Have you ever heard me sing? It's not pretty. Anyway, I got a table right away. Oh, by the way, I was singing, "I need a table right away! I have to eat, my blood sugar is low."

Another time, actually, it was recently, my friends brought some wine to a restaurant. Our waitress said, "Oh no, you can't bring any wine in here." I said to the waitress, "Didn't you get the memo?" And she replied, "What memo?" I said, "You know, the memo. It said we can do whatever the hell we want." So you see, I don't care what people think, and my friend said I'm a little unruly myself. I guess you could say, "You can dress me up, put me in a wheelchair, but you can't take me out." I'm going anyway.

So in a couple of days it's Thanksgiving. We give thanks to things that are special to us. I'm thankful I'm here writing to you. I'm also thankful my little one is here. It's great to hang out with her. I guess we should all be thankful for the little things in life. We forget about them. It's a bit of a cliché, but the littlest things in life are special. Have a good week. Don't eat too much. Love, B. Nice

A Wet Ass - November 20, 2013

Hi everybody. Well, you know what happened to me this week? I almost had a wet ass. So imagine this. I looked at my feet and other than the fact that they should be at the end of a branch, you know, like a crow, I decided I should probably get a pedicure. So I went to the local nail spa and went to get a pedicure. My health assistant managed to get me in the chair. Now imagine this, my health assistant turned on the back massager. It caused me to slide forward. I knocked over the pedicurist. My ass started sliding toward the water, you know where your feet go. I started crying for help. The woman in the next chair started laughing. The pedicurist said something in Chinese. I'm sure it was something like, "You big dumb fuck, you knocked me over." My health assistant tried to get me back up into the chair. Everyone in the nail salon came over and started talking Chinese. It was just another day in the world of traumatic brain injury. Oh, by the way, my friend her asked me if I every got my pedicure, and I did. I managed to stay in the chair. You know what I hate? I hate looking at a sign that says "Disabled Parking" or "Handicap Spot." I really dislike those words, handicap or disabled. Because I think I'm just different. I realized that when I got my film back from the trip I just did. To me the images have more depth and soul to them. I mean we're talking about real life here. Anyway, just an observation from My Point of View.

I'm having a bit of a brain fart right now. I can't remember what I was going to talk about. This week has been rather uneventful. I've been doing a lot of painting with my father. You know, I still have what I call "moments" once in a while. I just thought I'd share that with you. They're not full on seizures but they do kind of interupt my day. I've been to water therapy. That's been very helpful. I did better this week than last week. I'll tell you, I said it before, but I'll say it again, that trip I took really kicked my ass. I'm still recovering from it. But it was really worth it. Some day we'll go over the highlights of the trip. You know, like going into the biker bar, my friend almost causing a bar fight. Oh yeah, there was this one guy in Texas who was really proud because he shot a giraffe on a game farm. I mean who the hell shoots a giraffe? Anyway, that's all from me right now. I'll talk to you guys next week. Love, B. Nice

Post Trip - November 13, 2013

Hi you guys! Welcome to another week of recovery. Man, that trip was brutal. Right now I feel like hell. You know, coming down from this trip is like recovering from a bad break up or a case of bad whiplash. It doesn't strike you til later. I'm beat from the trip. Just the other day I went to water therapy and I was a mess. I think I need to sleep for a week. I guess it's like a race. You know, when I was doing my trip, I was all pumped up, but now that I'm home, it's hit me hard. It's like recovering from a race. Anyway, I continue with my therapy. It did bring some changes to my body, the trip that is. I do feel some changes going on. Maybe with a little rest I'll be stronger. Who knows?

My friend here just asked me, what do I mean? I reply, I keep barking and keep chasing sticks. I won't come down from the cabinet. Just kidding. I think with a little rest I'll be stronger. The changes I note are things that are hard to describe like the amount of numbness in my hands and feet, or I'm more aware of my body and the condition it's in. I'm more and more aware I'm a mess. You know, it depends on how you look at things (no pun intended). I see double you know, and you could look at it this way, "Damn, I see double." Or you can look at a single rose and all of a sudden have two roses. See what I mean? It depends on how you approach things. That's why I like looking at clouds or trees. I see double the clouds and double the trees. It also relaxes my eyes. I don't get as stressed out. It feels natural. I've also been painting a lot. I'll include a picture of an example. They're very abstract images, but they are a sense of entertainment. They make me happy. Don't ask me to draw your dog, but it's pretty far out.

I just want to make a few notes, you know, like benchmark things. One thing I notice is I don't sleep like I used to. I wake up early ready for the day, looking forward to it, and when I take a nap I never fall asleep. I just rest. When an hour passes, I'm anxious to do some more therapy or get up. In fact, just today, when I got up from my nap, I sat up on my own. Sounds simple, but that's a huge step for me. I guess what I'm getting at is, I'm getting better. I'm still thinking about my next trip though. I don't know where I'll go or when, but the next step is to get my images together from the last trip and have a show.

I'd like to mention one other thing. Anxiety and stress really bring me down. When I have a lot of anxiety, I get what you call "little moments." It's almost like a seizure, or who knows, maybe it is. It never turns into a full blown seizure. Anxiety is definitely my enemy.

You know, I did this trip for a month, went all the way across America, came all the way back. Other than my daughter, the most beautiful thing I saw was my front porch. It was good to be back home. Someone asked me what was the most beautiful thing I saw on my trip, and I replied, other than my daughter, it was the leaves on the trees back home. You see, they were at their peak and they were just turning. So what the hell did I go all the way to the west coast for? Anyway, remember to look around you. The most beautiful thing you see might be right in front of you. This is the old softie signing off. Love, B. Nice

November 5, 2013 - Election Day

Hi everybody. Welcome to another week of recovery. Man, I'm beat. It's taken me a while to recover from our trip. 21 hotel rooms and 29 days. 29 days of being in the car with 5 people. That's amazing. And you know what's even more amazing. No one farted. It was a challenge though. I've been getting the photos back and they do look amazing. When you do something like this, you feel like you're coming down after it. Everything else seems mundane and boring. I'm going back to therapy, etc., etc. I guess what I'm saying is, I miss our road trip. One interesting thing I notice is, from being tired and having anxiety, etc., I'm prone to getting more what I call "moments." I guess I have a little body shut down once in a while now. Maybe it's from being over tired. I don't know. All I know is, it's a drag. But I keep going to therapy and work through it. I've been painting a lot. That's been a fun outlet. And I continue to take photographs.  I joked about it in the last blog, but I am planning my next project. I would like to take a ship to Europe. It's difficult to find a ship to Europe. Anyone out there know any rich girls with a yacht? It's either that or the QE 2. If anyone has any ideas, please let me know. Anyway, this is B. Nice, signing off. I'm gonna make it a short one this week, and in my other blog, have a few fashion confessions to make. See you later. Love, B. Nice  (Click here for the other blog)

Thursday, October 31 - Halloween

Have a look at this. It's from our trip.